Stationary patrol?

Yes, yes, I know you all miss the esteemed and always-entertaining Rick Lee. Forgive my invasive posting on his blog while he’s recovering at home (and, I believe, unable to have a drop of beer while he convalesces).

But I came across a phrase in an affidavit of probable cause this week, and I just had to share. In the narrative section, the officer starts off by explaining that he was “performing a stationary patrol.”

Um, that’s an oxymoron. And to me, a layman (though veteran cop reporter), that just sounds like he was hangin’ out in his cruiser, swilling a late-night cup of coffee and hopin’ nothing happened.

However, the next few sentences make it seem as though he was on a stakeout — either that, or he truly happened to be in the right place at the right time to snag a fugitive.

So help me out, legal and police community: Is “stationary patrol” an actual thing? Or is it a euphemism for a coffee break?

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One Response to Stationary patrol?

  1. Jethro says:

    Amy Amy Amy. A quick Wikipedia search would reveal the definition of patrol- “A group of officers assigned to monitor specified geographic areas.” While most people think of patrol as merely “driving around” there are of course many ways to monitor problem areas, one of them being to sit “stationary” in a fixed position and observe what is going on in that area. In other words, instead of going to the goofs, let the goofs come to you.

    Right away you want to make it seem that the lazy officer was just “hangin’ out in his cruiser, swilling a late-night cup of coffee and hopin’ nothing happened.” But you see, when the public sees something written by an “editor” we assume that you have done YOUR job and done just a smidgen of investigative work.

    Once again rather than giving kudos to the officer who was out there making a difference and taking a wanted fugitive off the street, the media decides to put a negative spin on it by making it seem that a “lazy” cop was in the right place at the right time and had a fugitive turn himself in by willingly jumping in the cruiser. I think the men and women in blue deserve better.

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