I'm serious. She's possessed. Just look at those eyes.
Normally, I wouldn't bother readers with my domestic problems, but I haven't experienced an entire REM-cycle in weeks. I come home from work to find trash cans knocked over, old tissue carcasses strewn about the floor. I can't remember the last time I ate a meal at home that didn't involve shooing Peanut Butter off the table as she tried to lick the butter or steal broccoli from our forks.
No joke.
You might think it's terrible that I tell her I want to banish her back to the dumpster from whence she was found. But she's out of control.
She sits in the sink when anyone brushes their teeth. She jumps into the fridge whenever the door is open. Anything small that is left out in the open (pens, paper clips, rubber bands, caps, etc.) will quickly find a new home under the stove or some impossible-to-reach place if left unguarded.
My laptop's keyboard is covered in fur because she walks on it reguraly.
But the breaking point lately has been her obsession with plastic. Namely chewing it, licking it, and crinkling it in the wee hours of the night.
Now, before you accuse me of being a terrible pet owner, we're not leaving plastic bags out for her to play with. I'm not secretly hoping that she'll suffocate herself or anything like that. She has some sort of bag radar.
And you really have no appreciation for the amount of plastic Americans use until you're trying to hide every last shred of it from a cat who so closely resembles Satan.
My boyfriend brought groceries home last week, and within seconds she had ripped through both the grocery bag and the hamburger roll bag and started eating a roll. It happened with Pop Tarts too.
And let me tell you how embarrassing it is that all the toilet paper in the house has bite marks on it as well.
In short, she needs help. She needs the fear of God put in her little cat brain.
Maybe I'll rent "The Exorcist."
Wow, PB makes Kharma look like a model kitty. If it makes you feel any better, my friend's cat has been going crazy lately too... I'm thinking, spring fever?
If it hasn't been done yet get her fixed. We had a total psycho cat on our hands as well but as soon as we had her fixed she turned into docile kitty. She's still playful and fun but the loss of window screens and curtains and...is now non-existent.
I think your cat and my cat were separated at birth. Pita has most recently knocked a lamp over and a clock off the wall. And I've told you about his affinity for playing with the metal blinds at 4 a.m.
Thanks for the advice Robert, but Peanut has been fixed already. Maybe the next step is a lobotamy...
I kid, I kid.
I'm late, but my suggestion would be to get a second cat. It sounds like your cat is bored and lonely, and getting a second would keep it out of your hair.
not very funny