For love of Dark Chocolate

Today I don't look for a little thing to savor. Anything that will lift my spirits will be memories from the past. Yesterday I lost my most perfect friend. Our chocolate lab, Brandy, was suffering from a medical condition that made her life hard. So I had to let go of the perfect relationship because that's what you do when you love someone.

She came into our lives eleven years ago, a bundle of dark chocolate fur with more energy than I've ever seen before. The roller coaster ride began the day we brought her home where she declared our space an amusement park, day in and day out.

She learned fast how to manipulate me into being her own stand-up comic audience. She mastered her techniques that never failed to crack me up. She did it in perfect sync, especially at times when I would need a laugh most. She taught me sheer joy--when she would roll in the grass on her back and look like she was laughing hysterically. She could transfer that simple appreciation of the moment to me, lightened the moment, the day, my life.

That doesn't mean I didn't get mad at her. One night before Thanksgiving, she had herself a royal feast, bigger than ours. We woke up to find she had eaten an entire bag of stuffing, a stick of butter, a loaf of bread, some cinnamon roll-ups I had made, and a pumpkin casserole, minus the broken shards of Corningware that spread across the floor. There may have been more, but memory can only hold so much.

I was mad.

My breakfast that morning was a bowl of grapes. One dropped on the floor, and Brandy dove for it. I actually dove for it at the same time declaring to her, that she wasn't getting the grape, after all she had eaten!! (yes, I know grapes are harmful to dogs anyway) But my motives were purely selfish and out of anger--the grape was a symbol of the fact that I still had some control.

She immediately went into a seizure that had us spending our Thanksgiving Day in the puppy emergency room, while our guests at home ate dinner. I was so afraid we were losing her that all anger melted immediately and when we took her home she could've had anything she wanted. But all she wanted was our love and attention. Which she got, in a big way. I promised her I'd never fight her for another grape!

The episode did not stop her from ingesting other things however. During her lifetime she consumed seashells, Brillo pads, entire bags of chocolate, entire loaves of bread, sometimes sparing the wrapper, but not always. This is just a sampling of her tastes, which included just about anything, edible or not.

But always, after I spurted out my anger, she'd just turn those liquid chocolate eyes up at me that just seemed to be saying, "yeah, but it was GOOD, and I had fun!" Hard to argue with her.

She weathered so many hard times with me. Like a breathing security blanket, she'd know when to quietly just hang close to me. She went through life with us, sometimes totally shaking up her world, but she just adapted. Four grandchildren became part of the family during her lifetime, which she welcomed with high spirits, even though in her zeal, she'd sometimes knock them down. She loved all six of the grandkids and declared it the most fun ever when they were here.

When my parents moved in, she took to beng their personal protector, especially mom. Visitors had to pass her inspection before they were allowed to be near her "grandma." One time she stood between the UPS delivery man and my dad believing the guy in brown clothes to be some kind of terrorist, I guess.

When Brandy came home eleven years ago, we already had a cat who tolerated Brandy, but never warmed up to her. Then we adopted a kitten who was headed for extermination. This kitten decided that Brandy must be his mom, and had no clue that dogs and cats are supposed to be enemies. He'd just curl up with her at any time he felt like it, or demanded that she play whether she wanted to or not. Brandy always looked like, okay little guy, I'm here for you.

Then a little welsh corgi joined our clan and demanded ALL the attention, Brandy just sort of stepped back and let him be the center of attention. He depended on Brandy for everything, especially when we'd walk them through the neighborhood, and anything, including a cricket would threaten the corgi. He'd then go back behind Brandy, as if to say "you want a piece of me? yeah, well, you'll have to deal with my big sister!" Worked well as Brandy took on that role too.

The corgi keeps walking around the house trying to find her, and has at times, just laid at the door waiting for her to come home.

Yesterday, I took her to the dog park for a bit of frolicking. She didn't have much energy, but she seemed to enjoy being there. And I took her out to her favorite, Sweet Willows, for a big bowl of vanilla ice cream. We hung together. AND I brought a grape from my granddaughter's lunch for Brandy. She played with it before eating it. I'd like to think that she remembered my promise to her. But that would be to feed my spirit, which is what animals do best.

My love of dark chocolate began eleven years ago. My heart is breaking, as it will continue to do so, I'm sure, for quite awhile. But my heart is bigger because of you, dear, perfect friend Brandy, even though you took part of it with you.