How clever am I?
I can buy a gym membership, and I can have someone do yard work, OR, I can combine them, skip the membership, do my own yard work, get both for FREE!
I am so driven by the money saved at the gym, and we have all these weeds on an acre lot just screaming "we'll get you in shape," and everyone wins.
Out I go with the necessary tools, gloves, metal weed thingy, bag for the weeds, and a kneeling pad. It's beautiful outside, I got my dog by my side, a little music, it doesn't get any better than this.
I plug in the outside type boom box, or whatever they call them these days, it's the grandfather Ipod, I guess. Nothing happens, no music, no talk radio no nothing. I try another plug. It works, but the cord isn't long enough to stretch outside. Aha, a golden opportunity appears when I see a long outside extension cord. I plug it in, take the radio outside, and get ready to jam and pull.
Only nothing happens. Apparently, the cord is an antique or something. I figure okay, I got birds chirping, and my dog, that should be enough "music," and I give up on the radio.
I find the first patch of weeds to attack, and get all my "tools" ready. I throw the knee pad on the ground, open the bag, put on my gloves. Wait, I have 2 left-hand gloves, and I search everywhere for a right hand glove. I don't give up however, until I find one, only to slip it on and find that the 2nd and 3rd fingers are almost totally gone. Okay, better than nothing. Except it's really not, as those are the fingers that do most of the work.
Not to mention that the weeds, of course, are the thistle kind, and can snake their way into the non-fingers on the gloves. When our last name is Murphy, you really can't get away from the Murphy's Law thing.
I did accomplish the removal and upheaval of lots of weeds, however, so I'm still feelin' pretty good about my idea.
Then the icing on the cake. After getting all grimy and glistening from my battle with the weeds, in the boiling sun, the pool is a mighty welcome thing. And I figure I'll get an even better workout. Not only the swimming thing, but I can perform the little maintenance there is on the pool, and tone some other muscles.
We opened our pool late this year, so the temperature isn't quite fit for human dunking yet. But I'm tough, I'm getting buff from all my outside work, I can do this. I jumped in for my first ever polar bear swim, and find myself floating on a chunk of iceberg. When I finally do get the guts to jump in all the way, I get divers reflex and take awhile trying to find my breath again.
And then I start to clean the coping around the pool, anchoring myself on the sides so my body doesn't have to freeze completely. It works.
I come out of the pool, which is sparkling now, I can feel muscles I didn't know I had, and I got a double workout. I peruse the pile of thistles I pulled out, and boy do I feel virtuous! And stiff, and creaky, and a little like a popsicle. But me and my checkbook, we're best buds. Good thing, since my dog is no longer by my side. He indicates he does not want to be a "pupsicle," and is staying clear of the pool. If only I could teach him to pull weeds, then we could even skip walks. Gotta work on that one.