Good morning, Iraq!

KATIE AZIZ: Good morning and welcome to "Iraq Today." This morning, we will have the second part of my interview with Howard el-Stern, the Iraqi shock jock whose comedy stylings are killing them in Baghdad, figuratively speaking, and a special report on the efforts of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to uplift the spirits of Sunnis in this holiday season by bringing them the good news about Scientology.

MATT ABDUL-JABBAR: And later, we'll have holiday music from The Right Brothers and their hit single "Bush was Right." Plus, tips on having romantic, candle-lit dinners when the electricity is off and a helpful segment for the workplace on what to do if you suspect your boss is an insurgent dog. First, the news with Ann Ahmed-Curry.

ANN: Thanks, Matt. This morning, we have reports that a series of car bombings have cleared the way for construction of a new minor-league baseball stadium in downtown Baghdad, just another example of how the city's redevelopment efforts are paying off. In other news, tour- ism officials are reporting great economic gains. Tourists being kidnapped reportedly are having a great time and spending freely, mostly on ransoms. Economists report that the kidnapping industry has also bolstered ski-mask and video-camera sales in the Baghdad area. And this just in, American Vice President Dick Cheney, in a speech today, said everything's going great. And now, the traffic report with Artie Chalabi.

ARTIE: Traffic is moving well this morning with the usual construction delays on the road to the airport. How 'bout them potholes? But on the positive side, the mortar attacks on the road, just sporadic this morning, are creating numerous jobs for highway workers and pothole fillers. You might want to add some time to your commute if you're traveling in the area of the Green Zone as work to remove the unsightly apartment building at the corner of Bush Boulevard and Rummy Avenue to make way for a new Starbucks is continuing.

ANN: Thanks, Artie. And now, the weather with Al al-Roker.

AL: Good morning. We're out here on Liberty Plaza visiting with some of the peeps who came down to spend their morning with us and ask us for bottles of water. As you can see, not much of a crowd today, just the usual security forces. Let's see if we can chat with some of them. Hey, what's your name?

ABDUL: Abdul.

AL: Would you like to say hello to anybody?

ABDUL: Thanks, Al. I want to give a big shout out to my mom and my homies back in Tikrit. Death to the infidels, y'all!

AL: OK, moving on to the weather. Yesterday's sandstorms have cleared out and it's a balmy 120 degrees out. But it's a dry heat.

ANN: Thanks, Al.

MATT: Our top story today is about the efforts to conserve water and energy in the greater Baghdad area. Our guest is Stevie Ray Chalabi, minister of various things with the provisional government.

STEVIE: Thanks, great to be here.

MATT: Oh, no, thanks for joining us. Now, we've received the official report that Baghdad is well ahead of its energy and conservation goals for this year.

STEVIE: Absolutely, Matt. While it may seem that the electricity is only on for a few hours a day and water service is regularly interrupted, it's all going according to plan to save energy and water for the glorious future that will be Iraq, in the future. We set some very high goals for conservation efforts and thanks to our work and the decimated infrastructure, we're way ahead of where we thought we'd be.

MATT: We've heard from several sources that they don't mind doing without electricity at all. Care to comment?

STEVIE: I don't know who your sources are and we shall hunt them down like the dogs they are, but they are 100 percent correct.

MATT: Thanks, Stevie. Katie?

KATIE: Matt, with the holiday season upon us, we're going to get some helpful tips from Martha bin Stewart on how to make festive centerpieces with rubble and empty shell casings. Right after these words from our sponsor. ...

Mike Argento can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.