By MIKE
ARGENTO
As a purveyor of used words, I try to keep up with developments in the American lexicon, but it’s hard considering that, until recently, I had no idea what badunkadunks were, and now I know and my life is so much richer.
And up to now, I thought muffin tops were, well, the tops of muffins.
Turns out badunkadunks and muffin tops are kind of related.
What do I know?
The phrase “muffin tops� was among the Words of the Year, as determined by the American Dialect Society, an organization of linguists, lexicographers, etymologists and other people who constantly correct your grammar and make fun of people who believe that the plural of “you� is “youse.�
We all know that the proper plural of “you,� according to scholars from Pittsburgh, is “y’uns� — a matter still in dispute with the southern linguists who back “y’all.� Youse all let us know when youse sort it out.
The scholars of the American Dialect Society routinely choose a list of words of the year and then, via an election that does not involve Supreme Court intervention or electronic voting machines from Ohio, names a word of the year.
The word of the year for 2005 was “truthiness.�
Truthiness, according to the society, is defined as “the quality of stating concepts or facts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true.�
In other words, it’s essentially delusion.
The word was coined by Stephen Colbert, host of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,� a fact that must be pointed out any time the word is employed because if it isn’t, Colbert pulls an O’Reilly.
(An “O’Reilly,� a word somehow left off the society’s list because I just made it up, refers to cable yacker Bill O’Reilly, and “pulling an O’Reilly� can be used to describe any overblown, irrational reaction to concepts or facts known to be true.)
“Truthiness,� though, clearly deserves to be the word of the year that just passed. In a way, the word sums up the times we live in, where the tendency of something to be declared truth is directly proportional to how many people believe it, regardless of what the evidence and facts suggest.
Which brings us to the third runner-up on the list of words of the year — intelligent design.
The society defines intelligent design as “the theory that life could only have been created by a sentient being. Often acronymized and pronounced as ID, the theory is being pushed by proponents of creation science as a necessary part of school curricula alongside explanations of evolution.�
And there you have it. Truthiness. How else can you explain the desire of school boards and such across the country still pushing this despite the clear repudiation of it in the recent court case involving Dover?
There was also a thread of truthiness running through a new category that the society came up with just this year — the Cruiselex: words or phrases related to Tom Cruise.
Thus we have “jump the couch,� which means “to exhibit strange or erratic behavior,� according to the society. It’s a reference to Cruise “jumping the couch� on “Oprah,� and to “jumping the shark,� which, I hope, you know the meaning of by now. And the Cruiselex also includes “Cruisazy,� which means “crazy in the manner of Tom Cruise.�
These words and phrases can come in handy. You can explain away the behavior of the former Dover Area School Board as “Cruisazy� and the whole ID episode can be described as Dover “jumping the couch.�
Another word that must become a part of everyday language is “crotchfruit.�
No, it isn’t what you think. It refers to children, as in fruit of one’s loins. It’s right up there with “crib monkey.�
Now, back to “muffin top.�
You might think it refers to the top of a muffin.
But no.
The society defines it as “the bulge of flesh hanging over the top of low-rider jeans.�
It came in third in the category of “Most Creative,� behind pinosaur, a very old pine tree in Australia, and whale tail, which doesn’t refer to the back end of a cetacean.
A whale tail, according to the society, is “the appearance of thong or G-string underwear above the waistband of pants, shorts or a skirt. Also known as a longhorn.�
I could say something about a whale tail on a muffin top and badunkadunks, which is the area below a whale tail and a muffin top.
But I won’t because I don’t want to be accused of jumping the couch or anything.
Mike Argento, whose column appears Mondays and Thursdays in Living and Sundays in Viewpoints, can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.
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