Racists actually have to apply?

Application for membership *

Please fill out the form completely. Should you answer incorrectly, you will be reported as a race-traitor and skinheads will pay you a visit, unless, of course, your inability to answer is caused by Jews, blacks, Mexicans, Catholics, Muslims, Unitarians and people who object to you burning crosses on their yards. If, for any reason, you cannot answer a question, on advice of lawyers or parole officers, leave it blank. If you require assistance filling out this form, return on the third Tuesday of the month when our member who can read is available, pending his trial.
NAME:
ADDRESS:
PHONE (If you don’t have a phone, list the number of the pay phone closest to your trailer park):
RACE (CHOOSE ONE):
White.
Caucasian.
Anglo-Saxon.
Race? You mean, like black people.
EDUCATION:
Grade school.
Fourth grade.
Kindergarten.
Edu-what? Don’t need no book learning.
OCCUPATION:
On disability for mysterious back ailment.
On disability for mental illness.
On disability for hepatitis contracted while getting swastika tattoo.
On disability because the Jews own the media.
FAVORITE COLOR:
White.
White.
White.
Mauve.
FAMILY BACKGROUND:
Father in jail.
Mother in jail.
Mother and father in jail.
Disowned because parents are race-traitors.
SPECIAL SKILLS:
Driving.
Drinking.
Drinking and driving.
Able to belch “Deutschland Uber Alles� after drinking 12 beers.
MOST ADMIRED PERSON:
Hitler.
Matt Hale, former gluteus maximus of the Nationalist Movement.
That banjo-playing kid from “Deliverance.�
My Rottweiler Thor.
REASON FOR JOINING:
To join with like-thinking white people to promote pride.
To join with like-thinking white people to promote stupidity.
To join with like-thinking white people to drink beer.
To learn about how the Masons control America through satellite transmissions.
FAVORITE MOVIE:
“In the Heat of the Night.�
“Mississippi Burning.�
Anything by Spike Lee.
Tie between “On Golden Blonde� and “Forrest Hump.�
PERSONAL INTERESTS:
Stomping.
Beating.
Breaking things.
The artwork of Georgia O’Keefe, particularly her work in cow skulls.
INTELLIGENCE TEST:
Please answer the following questions.
If Adam has two apples and Steve has three, how many apples does Beavis have?
A. Five.
B. It’s impossible to calculate that because my calculator got broke in a fight with anarchists.
C. Beavis is a funny name.
D. The Jews and the Masons want to control our thoughts with laser beams.
If a train leaves Chicago for New York and travels at 65 mph and an airplane leaves Las Vegas for Seattle and travels at 540 mph and a 1992 Cutlass leaves Biloxi and breaks down before it can get out of the state, how do you calculate the area of an isosceles triangle?
A. What’s a train?
B. What’s an airplane?
C. Did you try kicking the Cutlass?
D. This is just the kind of question that causes the miscegenation.
How many white people does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb and another one to blame the Jews for the old bulb burning out.
B. Three. One to change the bulb and two others to blame blacks for the old bulb burning out.
C. Four. One to change the bulb and three others to blame Mexicans for the old bulb burning out.
D. What’s a light bulb?
ESSAY QUESTION:
In 200 words of less, tell us why you think you’ve been discriminated against because you are white.
Thank you for filling out the application. You will be contacted in the near future. In the meantime, please feel free to hate whomever you wish.

* Parody — and if you have to be told that, you definitely should take the above intelligence test.