Talk about strange bedfellows...

Philosopher dreams of pleasure planet
By MIKE ARGENTO

Apr 10, 2006 — Sure, the whole intelligent design creationism nonsense hasn't exactly been great for us - we're all doomed to an eternity in perdition, if you believe whacko televangelist Pat Robertson - but it has been great for those among us with different ideas about the nature of reality and God and wedges.

Yes, wedges. I'll explain later.

First, we had the Pastafarians protesting the intelligent design creationist movement, claiming that if schools can include instruction on that nonsense, they have to teach students that the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Even so, there has been a schism in Pastafarianism, with Eastern Orthodox Pastafarians claiming that Ramen is the one and true pasta and that marinara sauce is an abomination. (Both sects agree that the afterlife will feature a beer volcano and a stripper factory.)

And now we have a guy who says he's an intelligent design scientist from Canada objecting to the fact that federal Judge John E. Jones III ruled that ID is not science because it requires a supernatural explanation for natural phenomena and that it runs counter to his philosophy, which is called pleasurianism.

Yes, pleasurianism. I'll get to it.

His name is William Brookfield and he's from British Columbia. He objects to Jones' ruling because he says his philosophy is not based on creationism and that he believes the judge's decision lumps him in with creationists and Pastafarians.

And he says nothing could be further from the truth.

First, even though he is a member of the International Society for Complexity, Information and Design, his ideas on intelligent design creationism come from a different point of view than other members of the club. But he does share some ideas with the design people. He has a diagram of a bacterial flagellum, the microbiological star of the Dover Panda Trial, on his Web site.

As an amateur scientist, he said he's been studying the universe for some time and has concluded that it is a huge consciousness and those who believe that science should limit itself to natural explanations of natural phenomena based on material evidence are "sub-naturalist."

Or something like that.

It was kind of hard to follow.

Pleasurian philosophy, though, wasn't hard to follow.

According to the Web site, Pleasuria is "the name of a proposed new country, new continent and new planet."

OK.

It also says that "Planet Pleasuria is the, post-transformation, name for the planet Earth."

Post-transformation?

"Pleasurianism works to enlarge upon the natural human capacity for kindness, love and orgasms - thereby reducing violence and transforming civilization."

All right.

"Sex, within pleasurian philosophy, is a completely innocent form of intimate cuddling/kissing. Thus, there are no conceivable laws against sex in a pleasurian society. All pleasurian laws are against violence, abuse, degradation, endangerment, etc."

Well, that's, uh, certainly, uh, interesting.

Farther down the page is a section called "The Pleasuria. com Vision."

"The concept of pleasuria. com is that of an initially small, adult-oriented, company specializing in high quality sexual products, but capable of expanding into other fields - all related to pleasure. While vibrators and lingerie can indeed be 'pleasuria' so can everything from lawn chairs to clothing to boats to recreational vehicles."

Recreational vehicles?

Do they include a bumper sticker that says, "If this RV's a-rockin' ..."?

Never mind.

The business component of pleasuria is intended to raise money to buy a new country, which the Web site says can be expensive.

So, moving on to the wedge business. The wedge, as it's usually referred to in discussions of the intelligent design creationism movement, is a reference to a document written by the founders of the movement that lays out the religious and political motivation behind their attack on science.

The wedge, as Brookfield defines it, is something else.

"As an intelligent design scientist, I naturally support the WEDGE," he wrote on his Web site.

Click on the link and you're taken to a page showing a wedge-like device that's used, let's say, in the ritualistic practice of his philosophy.

Anyway, Brookfield said pleasurianism has nothing to do with his work on ID and he's offended that the judge has ruled that his work is not religious in nature.

"My philosophy of life is not a religion," he said. "What do I have to do, start a church? Church of the Bouncing (word for secondary sexual characteristics of women)?"

He'd have no trouble attracting a congregation.

He said, "My view of the nature of reality is different than the judge's."

Yes, it certainly is.

Mike Argento, whose column appears Mondays and Thursdays in Living and Sundays in Viewpoints, can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.