Watch out Dover, Robertson might be telling the truth

Besides calling hellfire and damnation upon Dover, the Most Reverend Pat has advocated assassinating a foreign leader he doesn’t like, asked God to kill off some Supreme Court justices and claimed to have diverted hurricanes. And he does it all with a little smile on his face and a sugary tone of voice that make you think that, in the words of country songster and future Texas governor Kinky Friedman, he’s out there where the buses don’t run.

So now, along comes the Most Reverend Pat with his latest proclamation.

He says he can leg press 2,000 pounds.

The man is 76 years old, has survived prostate surgery and says he can leg press a ton.

Two thousand pounds.

That’s a lot.

Maybe the folks in Dover should take the Most Reverend Pat more seriously because it’s obvious now that the man has superhuman powers.

The Most Reverend Pat attributes his superhuman strength to ingesting what he calls his “age-defying� diet shake. “Age defying�? As others have observed, it’s more like gravity defying.

Maybe it’s completely plausible that the Most Reverend Pat can leg press, say, a Mini Cooper. I called York Barbell and asked a nice woman named Ellen Chaillet about it. She knows her stuff. She described all of the variables, and what all was involved, how the weight was distributed, how it differed from squatting 2,000 pounds, and she said it might be plausible.

And when I said it was Pat Robertson who has claimed to leg press 2,000 pounds, she said it could be true, as far as she knew.

When I asked, “Pat Robertson, are you sure?�

“The one on TV?� she asked.

She said she thought I was talking about a different Pat Robertson — one who actually lifts weights instead of making crazy proclamations on TV.

“That Pat Robertson? I’m not so sure,� she said. “Crazier things could be true. I’d have to see it to believe it.�

When I asked her whether ingesting a special age-defying shake would assist a 76-year-old in leg pressing 2,000 pounds, she said only if it contained anabolic steroids.

Forget human growth hormone. We’re talking bovine growth hormone.

For perspective, she suggested I call Fred Archambauth.

Fred is a competitive power lifter from Atkinson, N.H., competing in the 165-pound weight class. Fred is also 83 years old. At a recent power lifting competition at York Barbell, Fred lifted a combined 1,000 pounds in the squat, bench press and dead lift — a record for his age category.

When I called Fred, he was out in the yard, digging up rhododendrons. He’s been lifting competitively since he was 65. He started training when he was 62. He had retired from his engineering job at 60 and started lifting weights to stay busy. “I don’t golf so I had to do something,� he said.

Fred said it was plausible that someone could leg press 2,000 pounds. There are a lot of factors, though. What kind of machine is the person using? What angle is the person pressing the weight? Other things.

One thing, though, for a person to be able to leg press 2,000, he’d have to be highly trained and very strong.

And he’d probably have to be a lot younger than 76. He competes regularly against a guy who’s 75 and that guy routinely out-lifts him. “But then, he has eight years on me,� Fred said.

And no matter what your age, leg pressing a ton would have some bad side effects.

“Two thousand pounds,� he said, “you’d do a lot of damage to your knees.�

There you have it. It’s plausible that the Most Reverend Pat can leg press 2,000 pounds. Not likely, but plausible.

It’s the kind of thing that makes you re-think everything the Most Reverend Pat has said over the years. Maybe he isn’t crazy.

What this all means is those folks in Dover should watch their steps. They don’t want to spend eternity in that place where you can’t get any decent hog maw.

Mike Argento, whose column appears Mondays and Fridays in Living and Sundays in Viewpoints, can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.