Once again, some writer or something comes out with a book that says, as a people, we Americans are becoming ruder and ruder and that common courtesies are falling by the wayside and generally, many of us act like that guy on the TV show “Curb Your Enthusiasm� — Larry David — and are basically obnoxious jerks.
The book, titled “Talk to the Hand,� posits that common courtesies are extinct and that many people believe we’re ruder than we were 20 years ago.
I have one thing to say.
Bite me.
Sorry, that was rude.
What I should have said was...
... I beg your pardon, if I may be so forward, I certainly take seriously your concern over your supposition that people no longer say “excuse me� when they behave poorly toward their fellow denizens of this small, wonderful planet and by no means am I belittling your worry over whether people are turning into major-league jerkolas, but all due respect, bite me.
There, feel better?
I do.
Anyway, a story about the rudeness of America — which once again neglects to mention the fact that this nation was founded on rudeness, as one big “get bent� to King George and the English — has drifted upon our shores once again and needs to be addressed before people start acting civil or something stupid like that.
Actually, we don’t have much to worry about. Reader’s Digest, which exists mainly to give you something to read while you wait for the dentist to poke around at your teeth, recently conducted a study to determine the rudest city in the world. Its editors sent reporters to 35 cities in the world to measure the various amounts of rudeness you’d face in places like Bangkok or Zagreb and to find out whether it could get expenses for sending reporters to 35 cities around the world past the business office. I imagine the person who signs the checks was pretty rude upon hearing about this one.
The reporters came up with a scheme for testing rudeness — whether people would hold the door for you, help you pick up papers you drop and say “thank you� when you buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks — and set about to find the rudest city in the world, and the nicest.
The rudest city in the world was Mumbai, India, which used to be called Bombay and changed its name when — I’m guessing — it entered the Witness Protection Program or something. The rudeness thing was probably caused by Gandhi because he frequently refused to eat perfectly fine food people would serve him. Sorry, that was a bad joke. Gandhi was a thoroughly decent, kind, polite man who, if he were alive today, would drop dead to learn that Mumbai is the rudest city in the world.
As much as it comes as a shock that the city of Gandhi is the rudest on the planet, the real surprise is the magazine’s conclusion of the nicest, most polite city in the world.
New York.
That’s right.
New York.
That New York.
I don’t have a lot of experience with New York, but when it comes to politeness, I don’t think so. Spend an afternoon or evening in Yankee Stadium and you’ll learn pretty fast. In fact, you’ll probably hear all of the variations of the use of a certain word — the one that, if uttered on network TV or the radio, would result in the Federal Communications Commission dropping dead from shock — known to mankind and probably some that are new.
On your way to the ballpark, you get helpful advice about crossing the street, such as “You gonna stand there all (bad word) day with your (bad word) head up your (bad word)!�
It’s like an episode of HBO’s “Deadwood,� without all the horses. (A Web site tracks the deployment of a certain profane word in “Deadwood� and in this season’s first two episodes, the word appears 1.62 times per minute.)
The survey was flawed in that it put New York up against cities from around the world. Sure, New York would appear polite when it was competing against places like Mexico City and Ljubljana and Kuala Lumpur, which I always confuse with those little bears that hang out in eucalyptus trees.
Put New York up against American cities and let’s see what happens. Put New York up against Philadelphia and ... well, forget that because the city of Brotherly Love is the place that once pelted Santa Claus with snowballs at an Eagles game.
Put New York up against York and we’ll see ... um, never mind.
The one thing the survey and all of the people who decry the decline in manners seem to forget is that we have lots of reasons to be rude. That and we’re rude because that’s just who we are.
And if you don’t like it, you can ...
Sorry.
Mike Argento can be reached at 771-2046 or at mike@ydr.com.
Just curious. The level of the 'niceness' rating wouldn't be directly proportional to the amount of complementary goods and services the nice-patrol received, would it?
well yorkblog, you certainly are rude as hell, and yes Americans are rude bastards, because they are a nation that was founded on rudeness and it makes me sick. It's because of our abandonement of British society, and the Italian and Latin cultures which have shoved there values in our face. Italians especially. Just look at what Rome did to Europe. America is like Rome fully of dirty, greasy, and disrespectful people.
Peter