June 2007 Archives

Here are the first few paragraphs of an Associated Press story about Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney and his special relationship with the family dog:

"BOSTON -- An example of Mitt Romney's crisis management skills has turned into something of a political problem for the Republican presidential contender.

"Romney placed his family dog, an Irish setter named Seamus, into a kennel lashed to the top of his station wagon for a 12-hour family trip from Boston to Ontario in 1983. Despite being shielded by a wind screen the former Massachusetts governor erected, Seamus expressed his discomfort with a diarrhea attack.

"When Romney's eldest son, Tagg, and his four brothers complained about the brown runoff down the back windshield, their father quietly pulled the car over, borrowed a gas station hose and sprayed down both the dog and the kennel before returning to the road."

All I have to say is Mitt Romney's Dog would be a good name for a rock band.

Wednesday, on CNN, Wolf Blitzer was interviewing Bill Cosby about inner-city violence and the huge problems facing our cities when he interrupted the interview in mid-sentence to go to a breaking news story of such import that it couldn't wait for Cosby to finish his thought about how the dearth of education and employment opportunities have led an epidemic of violence in urban areas.

Had we started bombing Iran? Had some deal been made on immigration reform? Had there been a terrorist attack?

Nope.

Wolf cut away to bring us live coverage of Paris Hilton arriving at the CNN studios for her appearance on Larry King Live.

Well, it was a nice civilization while it lasted...

Friday night, at opening day for the York's new ballpark, you could tell you were in York.

By the third inning, the line at the funnel cake stand was more than 50 deep. The wait for a plate of fried dough dusted with confectioner's sugar was half an hour.

Meanwhile, a beer stand, about 20 feet away, had no line at all.

Sounds about right.

So I was perusing the Internets this morning and came across this headline on "The Huffington Post": "Washington Breaks Silence: 'What's written about me is not the truth.'"

And I thought, George Washington?

Is he coming clean about chopping down that cherry tree or throwing a silver dollar across the Potomac or firing those U.S. attorneys?

And George Washington breaking his silence? Now that's news.

I opened the story and it turned out to be about some guy named Isaiah Washington, who, apparently, is or was on some TV show or another.

Never mind.

Tony Soprano is dead.

Yes, he sleeps with the fishes.

The abrupt ending of the finale of "The Sopranos" irritated a lot of viewers. Some speculated that creator David Chase intentionally made the ending vague to leave the door open to a "Sopranos" movie down the line.

If there is a "Sopranos" movie, Tony won't be in it.

Chase, in an interview with the Newark Star-Ledger, the Voice of New Jersey, said the ending wasn't vague at all and that everything was on the screen.

First, a little background: Earlier in the season, in the episode titled "Soprano Home Movies," Bobby Bacala and Tony are out on the lake fishing, discussing how guys like them exit this world, when Bobby says, "You probably don't even hear it coming."

Tony flashed back to Bobby's line in "The Blue Comet," as he sat on the bed in the safe house.

Now, going to the last scene of the series, Tony enters the diner. The bell on the door rings. There is a brief shot of Tony. Then, the camera switches to Tony's point of view. A few moments later, after Tony selects Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" on the jukebox, the bell rings. There is a brief shot of Tony looking up and then we see Carmela entering from Tony's point of view.

A moment after that, the bell rings. Brief shot of Tony looking up, followed by A.J. and the shady-looking Members Only guy entering the diner.

The suspense builds as Meadow has trouble parking her Lexus.The Members Only guy walks to the bathroom. Meadow is heading toward the diner. The bell rings. Tony looks up. Then, black.

That black is Tony's point of view. That is the moment of his death.

There is no shining beacon on the horizon, no big house where Tony Blundetto greets Tony's spirit, nothing.

Chase's final joke isn't on the audience. It's on Tony. Despite Tony's desire to get past his mother's dysfunction, it turns out he can't escape the fact that Livia was right. It's all a big nothing.

So that was that.

Tony Soprano is either dead, or he isn't. My reading on the ending -- the screen going black after a lengthy foreboding scene in the diner -- is that Tony was clipped at the moment the screen when black. Or maybe not.

It really doesn't matter. The ending was a great bit of visual storytelling. It set up the viewer for something and when that something came along, the it was left ambiguous. Pretty slick.

That said, some of my favorite moments from Sunday's "Sopranos" finale:

Janice telling senile Uncle Jun, "Bobby's was killed." And Uncle Jun replying, "Ambassador Hotel."

Meadow, talking about her future as a lawyer, telling Tony that the state can crush people. And Tony replying, "New Jersey?"

Paulie Walnuts and the cat that kept staring at Christopher's photo on the wall in the back room at Satriale's.

Good stuff.

So farewell, Tony, Carm, Meadow, A.J., Paulie, Sil and the rest of the Soprano clan. It was a great ride.

The judge order Paris Hilton back to jail. Not only that, he ordered her to serve her entire 45-day sentence.

Leaving the courtroom, Paris screamed for her mom to help her.

Paris is 26.

The Internet gambling site Bodog.com has posted odds on who's going to be whacked and who will survive "The Sopranos" finale.

If the oddmakers are right, New York boss Phil Leotardo should make arrangements at Cozarelli's. He's the odds-on favorite not to make it out of the show's final hour. The odds of him being killed are -160, which means you have to bet $1.60 to win a buck.

For comparison, the odds of Tony being killed are +110, which means a dollar bet wins you $1.10.

Paulie Walnuts is most likely to live, according to the oddsmakers. A buck bet on Paulie wins $1.30.

Of course, gambling is illegal and the odds are for entertainment purposes only.

So, Paris Hilton is ordered to jail, not house arrest, not coddling, off to the big house.

She spends a couple of days in the slammer and feeling scared and anxious, she's released.

If that's the new standard for releasing people from jail, what's the point?

I guess there is a different system of justice for the rich and famous than the rest of humanity.

She may go back. There will be a hearing today to determine whether she goes back into stir.

Last night, A&E re-ran one of my favorite episodes of "The Sopranos," "The Pine Barrens," in which Paulie Walnuts and Christopher take a Russian mobster out to the woods to whack him.

The Russian gets away and Christopher and Paulie get lost in the snowy woods and have to spend the night freezing in a junked plumbing truck.

Early on, Tony calls Paulie on his cell phone and tells him that the guy they're chasing was a commando in the Russian army and that he killed 16 Chechen rebels singlehandedly. Tony tells Paulie, "He was in the Interior Ministry."

Paulie tells Christopher that the guy they're chasing killed 16 Czechoslavakians. "He's an interior decorator," Paulie says.

Christopher replies, "His house looked like (excrement)."

It's almost here, the end of "The Sopranos."

When we last left Tony and the crew, Bobby was dead and Sil was in the hospital. Previously, Tony killed Christopher -- or Chris-ta-fah, as he's known -- and was trying to hold both of his families together. His therapist, Jennifer Melfi, tossed him to the curb, as Tony said, "After seven years. We were makin' progress."

At the end of Sunday's episode, Tony was lying on a bare matress in a safe house, cradling an AR-15 automatic that Bobby gave him for his 47th birthday.

This Sunday, it all comes to an end.

How will it end?

Who knows?

Will Tony be killed? Will a member of Tony's family be killed? Will Tony prevail, but at a huge cost? Will he go into the Witness Protection Program? Will he wake up next to Suzanne Pleshette and say, "I just had the weirdest dream"?

Post your own predictions. Or just talk Sopranos.

OK, we understand that TB Guy is big news. And we understand why it's a big story.

But what's with the surgical mask that makes his wife look like Donald Duck.

Here's are a couple of photos from an ABC News story about weird translations of Chinese into English.

Mmmmmmm...crapmeats...And not just regular crapmeats. Selected ones. And fresh too!

The bamboo flavor really makes the dish.

Here's the lead from an Associated Press story about a recent development with imploding candy giant Hershey Foods:

"In what experts call one of the strangest trademark lawsuits in recent memory, chocolate giant Hershey Co. is suing a California marijuana dealer for ripping off the company's name by selling marijuana-laced knockoffs.

"The tainted treats, with names like Rasta Reese's, Keef Kat, Puff-A-Mint Pattie and Stoney Rancher, were sold to California state-authorized medicinal marijuana shops, according to police. Stickers on the treats' packaging resembled labels of Hershey's Reese's Peanut Cups, Kit Kat, York Peppermint Pattie and Jolly Rancher."

Hey, at least Rasta Reese's and Puff-A-Mint Patties were made in the USA.