September 2007 Archives

As you've probably heard, some security guards at the Peach Bottom Atomic Power Station were caught on video sleeping on the job.

Previously, you may recall, some control room operators at the nuclear power plant were found to be sleeping on the job, inspiration for Homer Simpson as he snoozes through his shift at the Springfield nuclear power plant.

OK, it's bad when people guarding and running a nuclear reactor are sleeping. But what is it with Peach Bottom that induces sleep? Do they put Ambien in the water?

If I were running the place, here's how I'd spin it: Peach Bottom is so well-run and efficient that its workers can sleep on the job and nothing bad happens.

At least not yet.

So Gen. David Petraeus' long-awaited report on the Iraq war has been delivered and what's the conclusion.

Sure, he's recommended withdrawing 30,000 troops by next summer, meaning that by next summer, we'll be at the same point we were in January.

There's a phrase for this: Two steps forward, two steps back.

This thing's never going to end.

Turns out that Petraeus is apparently Greek for Westmoreland -- Westmoreland being the Gen. William Westmoreland, the fall guy for our failure in Vietnam.

Westmoreland, if you'll recall, offered dozens of rosy predictions about how Vietnam was playing out, right up to the bitter end.

And now, it's Petraeus' turn.

Best story of the day: "Four people were charged after a melee involving a baseball bat, a samurai sword and a pit bull outside of a Wrightsville bar in August."

Another passage from the story: "Police said they found several people lying on the sidewalk, on the Wrightsville Bridge and in the middle of Hellam Street, also known as Route 462."

Read the whole thing here.

Runner-up for best story of the day: Two teens from Red Lion who went on an alleged crime spree with the goal of visiting nude beaches in Florida. Read that one here.

Yep, just more reminders of why we call this special place on this special planet Pennsyltuckey.

The American Land Rights Association has come to the defense of embattled Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, R-Third Stall on the Right.

In a statement released today, the association said, "By ambushing Senator Larry Craig, the Minneapolis St Paul Airport Police have effectively declared war on the West. They are primarily responsible for greatly weakening private property rights and Federal land use advocates in the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee and in Congress. We are urging you to make all your flight arrangements avoiding the Minneapolis-St Paul Airport for at least the next year and probably longer. We’ll keep you posted as the boycott develops. Urge your friends, neighbors and fellow workers to try to avoid any flights that take them through Minneapolis St Paul Airport. We must inflict economic pain on the airport authorities to get them to change their behavior. And they must apologize to Senator Larry Craig."

You know, maybe the association should have called for a boycott of just the airport bathrooms.

Heard a bit on the tech news segment of the morning news that iPhones are huge in China and that Chinese people are paying premium prices for the devices.

There's only one problem: They can't get service there. They can't cruise the Internet. They can't download music. They can't even receive incoming phone calls.

It's good to know that all the money the Chinese are making from selling us lead-infused toys isn't being wasted.