The headline from today's Onion:
Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care
From the story:
"'Both parties understand that the current system is broken,' House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. 'But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It's a very complicated issue.
"'Ultimately, though, it's our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve,' Pelosi added.
"The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.
"'We have over 40 million people without insurance in this country today, and that is unacceptable,' Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. 'If we would just quit squabbling so much, we could get that number up to 50 or even 100 million. Why, there's no reason we can't work together to deny health care to everyone but the richest 1 percent of the population.'
"'That's what America is all about,' he added.
"House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) said on Meet The Press that Republicans would never agree to a plan that doesn't allow citizens the choice to be denied medical care in the private sector.
"'Americans don't need some government official telling them they don't have the proper coverage to receive treatment,' Boehner said. 'What they need is massive insurance companies to become even more rich and powerful by withholding from average citizens the care they so desperately require. We're talking about people's health and the obscene profits associated with that, after all.'
Sometimes the best humor is the truth and vice versa.
Read the whole thing here.
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