We learned to try to remember where we put things.
We can’t seem to locate the recorder we use for the podcast. And no, it’s not at all helpful to ask, “Where did you see it last?”
So this week’s What Have We Learned is a text-only affair.
Which is a shame because Tom and Jeff had some really good stuff prepared. I was slacking as I had other things to deal with. As my friend Bobby Campbell says, “People, can’t live with them, can’t chop them up into small pieces and bury them in the back yard.”
So here are the jokes.
For a fee, InTown Motors towing service will transport you and your car home if you’re too drunk to drive.
What have we learned?
For an added surcharge, they’ll forcibly prevent you from calling ex-girlfriends once you get there.
Former New York Rep. Eric Massa said he groped and tickled his male staff, but as male horseplay and not in a sexual way.
What have we learned?
“Then we’d play spin-the-bottle. But, you know, in a straight-guy kind of way.”
Or: You shouldn’t grope and tickle your male staff. You’ll go blind.
Former New York Rep. Eric Massa, a Democrat who resigned from the House of Representatives amid allegations that he had sexually harassed and groped male staffers, appeared on Glenn Beck’s show to say he was forced to resign because of his opposition to health care reform. On the show, Massa said he had had “tickle parties” with his male staffers.
What have we learned?
For once, Beck wasn’t the craziest person on his show.
A local almanac’s prediction of 40 inches of snow on March 7 was wrong — instead it was a sunny 50 degree day.
What have we learned?
Of course it was a sunny day. Our March 7 horoscope said, “Take what someone says with a grain of salt.”
The town of Topeka, Kansas, has offered to rename itself Google for one month as part of an effort to lure the search giant to build super fast internet cables there.
What have we learned?
Doesn’t Sell-Out, Kansas, have a better ring to it?
So that’s it for this week. We hope to be back in our recorded glory next week.
Mike Argento, a York native and graduate of York Suburban Area High School and Penn State, first came to the York Daily Record in 1983. He even had gray hair back then. After stints covering everything from cops to city hall to state government to the environment, he began writing a column for the paper, three times a week, in 1989. His column can be about anything and so is his blog, which encompasses life in York County and beyond. And, for the record, as he told his wife the other night, he wishes people would stop asking him, 'What's wrong with you?' He really doesn't know.
