Of course we have a groundhog joke in this week's edition of What Have We Learned. And jokes about Rahm Emanuel and others, including the requisite Uranus joke.
Yes, we're talking about a special arrested development edition here.
Recently in What have we learned Category
This week's What Have We Learned team recorded what was probably the best Pod cast in the history of Pod casts, which is what, about three weeks, but we've been unable to post it.
Until we figure it out -- which may take a while since the What Have We Learned team has the technological acumen of an iguana -- you'll just have to take our word for it.
So, here are the jokes we came up with:
Fifty-three orphans from Haiti were flown to the United States this week, taken to Pittsburgh.
What have we learned?
Pittsburgh? Haven't those kids suffered enough?
Harley Davidson is moving production of its trike motorcycles to York County.
What have we learned?
That was the good news. The bad news was Harley was keeping production of its training wheels in Milwaukee.
The Delaware legislature has introduced bills allowing table games.
What have we learned?
Within hours, lawmakers in Harrisburg responded with bills establishing cock fighting at Pennsylvania casinos.
A firm called "LA Gang Tours" is offering tourists a bus ride through the gang turf of Los Angeles.
What have we learned?
Not to be outdone, Disney unveiled the Crips and Bloods Pavilion at Epcot.
The Pennsylvania Superior Court reversed the District Attorney's decision that removed former Wrightsville Mayor Steve Rambler from office because he was convicted of soliciting sexually explicit photos through swinger magazines, then demanding money to keep from publicizing them.
What have we learned?
The Superior Court decision read: "The court finds that the York County District Attorney's office had no jurisdiction in this matter. Now can I please have back the picture of me with the goat?"
Donald Jeffery Roberts Jr. was arrested in Spring Garden Township after police said he was racing another car with his pregnant girlfriend and a toddler in the car, which was uninspected.
What have we learned?
At least, Roberts said later, they didn't find my cache of illegal fireworks.
PennDOT has a new online service that lets drivers check the availability of vanity plates.
What have we learned?
BUTTMAN is taken, but ASSMAN is still available!
As always, we apologize.
Tom's on vacation this week -- a bookcation, where he reads books, what a loser -- so Jeff and i had to muddle through.
This week, we discuss the city giving itself parking tickets, a gas leak at a school with a particularly sophomoric punchline (we like sophomoric) and a guy who robbed a bank to get away from his wife.
Some guys...
The What Have We Learned team skipped the podcast this week. It was a scheduling thing, OK?
That's our story and we're sticking to it. It had nothing to do with that incident involving Tom and the fairies. Seriously, it didn't.
Anyway, here are this week's jokes, featuring a cast of characters including Mariah Carey, Vince Fumo and a convenience store nacho machine :
Among Time magazine’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people was, among others, Mariah Carey, whose new album, titled “E=MC(squared),” includes the hit single “Touch My Body.”
What have we learned?
Guess you don’t have to be Norman Einstein to make this list.
State Sen. Vince Fumo, D-Philadelphia, began a speech expressing his opposition to an amendment to the state constitution that would ban gay marriage by saying, “Today, we are all homosexuals.”
What have we learned?
We’ve seen the state legislature up close, and we always thought gay men had better taste in clothes.
Marines stationed in Afghanistan are leaving fields of opium poppies untouched, because local villagers say the heroin-producing plants are their only source of income.
What have we learned?
We don’t know if American-style democracy will take hold there, but it sounds like they’ve already got a handle on the free enterprise part.
Goodwill Keystone Area offered free shredding of confidential documents at the York Expo Center.
What have we learned?
The event proved so popular that even U.S. Special Counsel Scott Bloch reportedly dropped off a carload of stuff.
The state Senate indefinitely tabled a measure amending Pennsylvania’s Constitution to ban same-sex marriage and civil unions, citing anticipated opposition in the Democrat-dominated House.
What have we learned?
In the meantime, state senators intend to court the state’s reactionary wingnuts with proposed interment camps for non-English speakers.
Wrightsville Borough Councilman Larry Kirkessner Jr. was cited for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after a dispute over a nacho machine at a local convenience store.
What have we learned?
Kirkessner said he had been drinking, but was not drunk at the time — which, when you think about the circumstances, really doesn’t make it much better.
A Kansas woman visiting Hollywood Casino told security she lost $70 after it fell out of her bra, where she was storing it for safekeeping.
What have we learned?
The woman’s life savings, which she kept rolled in a T-shirt like a pack of cigarettes, were still accounted for.
