Sam loves going to stay at my sister-in-law's every day now. And although she asks about her friends sometimes, she really doesn't mention day care much at all -- and she certainly doesn't miss it.
You'd think I'd be happy about this, right? Ecstatic that we've found a solution that, so far, seems to work well for everyone, especially for Sam.
So where's the guilt coming from? From the fact that I didn't do this earlier.
We knew Sam had been unhappy for weeks, if not months, at day care. She begged not to go when I dropped her off, and she told us often that she didn't want to go see her friends.
And I -- not listening to her because, well, she's only 3, for goodness' sake, she can't really know what she wants -- made her keep going. Made her go when she really didn't like it.
What have we learned here?
As a mother, it's possible to feel guilty about anything. And everything. There's no reprieve.
*Sigh*
Do you ever get this feeling? How do you deal with it?
I'm going to wave my wand of Mommy Guilt Absolution over you! While your daughter expressed that she did not like daycare, it may not just be that she didn't like it. It may have been a normal phase in her development and not anything really awful about the daycare. It is very common for kids between 3 and 4 to express that they don't like preschool, daycare, babysitters, etc. Even ones they have been happy at and comfortable at for YEARS. Don't be surprised if she pipes up soon and says she doesn't like the new arrangement. If she does express it, then this will highlight a stage in development instead of merely her being miserable. We have far less control over stages of development, so no guilt over the develpmental stages, you can't stop em, so don't guilt yourself over em! Even if your daughter was truly miserable at the daycare, and had reason to be so, you are now addressing the concern in a way that is totally appropriate, who's to say that months ago you would have been able to switch her into a better situation? If your sister in law had not been available earlier, maybe your daughter wouldn't have been happy somewhere else like she is now. Give yourself a big pat on the back for finding a better situation for her and that you are tuned in for the signs if there are future situations where you will need to look for them. You've done a great job as a mom and it looks like you are continuing to do so!