Here's another of my favorite kid-related jokes:
A kindergarten teacher was reading the story of Henny Penny to her class. She read the parts about Henny Penny running around the farm, stopping by all sorts of animals and getting them stirred up by telling them that the sky falling.
The teacher then got to the part about Henny Penny running up to Farmer Brown.
"Henny Penny ran to Farmer Brown and said, 'Farmer Brown, Farmer Brown, the sky is falling!'" the teacher read. Then she asked her class: "What do you think Farmer Brown said?"
One little girl raised her hand right away, and the teacher called on her.
"I'll bet he said, 'Holy shit, a talking chicken!'" the girl said.
Before I had Sam, I had said that I wanted a kid who thought like that -- cut straight through the crap and realize that a talking chicken is worth a million bucks. I'm thinking I might have gotten my wish ...
Got any good jokes?
1) Daughter: “Mommy, when you were a little girl did you have a dinosaur as a pet or did you hide in caves from the dinosaurs?”
Son: rolls around on the coach laughing hysterically.
Mom: Happily smiles thinking at least one of her children does not think she was around during the stone age.
Son: Catches his breath and says “Mommy is terrified of spiders. How in the world could she have a dinosaur as a pet?”
2) Daughter demanded to have her sushi brought to the table quickly…over and over again Sushi arrives and she unrolls it and eats only the center. When asked why she did this her explanation was…”That is seaweed. I wont eat seaweed. Do you know where seaweed comes from? It comes from the sea. Do you know fishies live in the sea. Do you know what fishes do in the sea? They pee and poop in there ewwww! I am not going to eat seaweed that fishies peed and pooped on.”
3) Daughter explains Barbie’s Mom. Barbie’s mother must have been really awful. She knew she was a bad mother so she left her little baby Kelly with big sister Barbie and never came back. Not even for a visit. That is why there is no Mommy doll for Barbie and Kelly. Little does she know, skipper just sort of dropped out of the picture. I never thought about Barbie’s mother but I did wonder what happened to skipper.
I have dozens but these were the first that came to mind.