Take, for example, the part when the teacher explained that babies have a soft spot on the top of their heads. They even learned the word for it: "fontanel," the teacher said. "Now go surprise people with that big word you know."

Sam wasn't interested in learning the big word for it. Instead, she was busy pushing on the baby doll's head to see if she could make the forehead touch the back of the head. I mean, it was a big soft spot, sure -- I'm just really hoping she doesn't try that test on our real baby.

And then there were the answers to the question "what can babies do?"

The first answer, from a cute little boy who couldn't stop taking the toy helicopter he wasn't allowed to have from the table: "Play toys."

"No," said the teacher patiently. "Babies can't play with toys when they're first born."

Then, from Sam: "Eat pizza."

"No," came the reply again. "Babies don't have teeth. They have to drink all their food."

Then, from Sam again: "Crawl."

C'mon, give her some credit. She was on the right track with this one.

She learned how to diaper a baby and wipe his hiney, how to swaddle a baby, how to hold a baby and how to help Mommy and Daddy by playing gopher.

What does she remember most?

1. That there was a teddy bear on the toy table that she wanted to take home but wasn't allowed
2. That the teacher said a small, pink, heart-shaped plastic carrying case that Sam thought would be OK for the baby to play with wasn't a good choice for a baby toy. She's still steamed about that one.

But maybe that's one of the lessons an OFFICIAL big sister knows: Stick to your guns, man. Don't give in. Stubborn is as stubborn does.