We went in, ordered a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal with fries and chocolate milk, and got to a table with no mishaps. Considering I'm still working out this watch-Sam-and-make-sure-she-doesn't-cause-mayhem-or-get-abducted-while-carrying-Noah-in-the-car-seat-and-making-sure-he-doesn't-need-anything talent, I was pretty proud of myself.

As we were sitting there, me calmly feeding the baby a bottle and Sam wolfing down McNuggets, one of the employees walked by us. She was a large woman who moved slowly.

Sam (half a McNugget hanging out of her mouth): "Hi. You're really big."

Me (mortified and trying to cover her tracks): "Sorry. She thinks all adults are big, and I guess when you're 4, we all do seem big."

(As a side note, to defend myself: We've talked about people who use canes or wheelchairs and why they use them. We've talked about disabled kids and why they look different. And we've definitely talked about how it can hurt people's feelings if you point out how they're different. Guess these lessons didn't stick yet.)

The woman clearly accepted this as a reasonable explanation, and she stopped to chat with Sam. This made me nervous because God only knows what will come out of my sweet little girl's mouth during times like these.

The woman remarked to Sam that her baby brother was very cute. And Sam said, "Yeah, he is. His name's Noah. He came out of Mommy's tummy already."

The woman had started her slow walk back toward the front of the store, but she was still talking. "Oh, did he?" she said with a smile.

Sam (raising her voice so the woman could hear her): "Yeah. Well, actually he came out of Mommy's hiney."

Like lightning, I leaned over and whispered: "Remember, that's not something that we talk about in public with other people."

Sam (still at full volume): "But Mom, you said he came out from right here."

And she splayed open her legs and pointed to her crotch.

OK, first of all, I really don't recall telling her that -- OR doing such a demonstration. Second, if I did, I must have been so exhausted that I answered her without thinking about the repercussions.

Either way, there was my kid, sitting in McDonald's, loudly discussing her private parts and mine.

Like I said, it's a good thing we're not going back for a LONG time.

Have your kids embarrassed you in public? What did you do?