This morning, I took my kids to the home of a woman I've met exactly once before.
And I left them there.
Oh, my good lord, what have I done?
In the quest for affordable child care, I started looking for people who provide in-home child care. I tried craigslist and a few Web sites before landing at Care.com, where care providers looking for work put up profiles about themselves, including the type of care they provide and their hours of availability.
I found a few people near my house, including one woman who has a bachelor's degree in elementary education and who has worked in day-care settings. She's watched, like, 20 kids in 13 years (or 13 kids in 20 years, I can never keep that straight).
And I got to do a background check on her through the site, as well as listen to recorded interviews with two people she had listed as references.
And then, being a skeptical journalist with too much knowledge of how to search public information, I also ran her name and her husband's name to see if they have had any legal trouble in Pennsylvania since 2001.
(In case you want to use this site to your advantage, here's the link. On the main page, click on "E-Services," then "Public Web Docket Sheets." Most of the time, you'll want to search "Magisterial District Courts.")
Anyway, they came up clean.
And she seems like a very patient person who really loves being with kids. Her own son Michael, who's 4, is there, and she also watches a 2-year-old boy. So that's playmates for Sam.
But I had to call. I couldn't take it anymore. Is Sam behaving? Is Noah getting the kisses and attention he's used to? Has Sam bitten Michael yet? Did this woman run away with my kids and I'll never see them again? (As of 1:02 p.m., by the way, she had not escaped with them. I'm taking that as a good sign.)
I really hope this works out. But I've also still got that nagging feeling that either a) something's going to happen to one or both of them, or b) this is not the best situation I could have found and that I should have coughed up the $1,850 a month for day care.
Anybody want to make me feel less nervous here? I've pretty much eaten off my fingernails today, and I'm starting to nibble on the skin beside them.
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