*Note: Dear Future Sam, Please forgive me for this post. Love, Mom*
I've hit something in the land of Mommyhood that has me utterly stumped.
I've been able to maneuver and squeak my way through a lot of unexpected situations, annoyances and gross moments. I've screwed up (and apologized for it), I've celebrated when new tactics have worked and I've blocked some of the not-so-fine moments from my memory.
Here's what's baffling me: Sam is still having pee-pee accidents, usually during the day but also sometimes at night.
It started happening not too long after Noah was born, so I initially chalked it up to the stress from that. Of course she'd want to act like a baby when there's a new baby in the house. Makes sense to me.
So I followed the advice of my pediatrician and every expert I read online, who said to not make a big deal out of it when it happens. Just deal with the mess efficiently and get past the moment, they said. It'll stop in time.
But it didn't. In fact, it slowly got worse, until she was having several accidents a week. This was just before school started, and just after we had started with a new sitter, so again I figured it was from that. Sam doesn't really deal with change well, particularly when she doesn't know what to expect.
But finally, last month, after she peed on the floor in Target, I took her to the doctor. We checked her pee-pee, and she didn't have an infection. So we talked about what physical issues could be causing the accidents, and I left with what felt like a plan.
She did pretty well for about a week. Then, Sunday, she had one accident. Yesterday, which was Tuesday, she had two within a few hours of each other.
The main issue seems to be that the urge to go hits her suddenly, and she refuses to go to the potty immediately. She'll dance around, her hand clutching her privates, and either continue doing whatever it is she's doing -- playing with toys, using the computer -- or she gives everyone in the vicinity a lecture about what to do while she's out of the room in the potty.
Months ago, Damon and I took to saying, "Go, Sam! Just go! Go, go, go, go, go! Don't talk! Just go!" I've asked her why she doesn't go to the potty immediately, but I can't get a straight answer. I've asked her if she likes peeing her pants, and when she says no, I believe she's sincere.
So what the hell is going on? Anybody have ANY ideas or suggestions?
I'm starting to freak out here, worrying that this is a sign of a bigger issue, like an emotional problem, that I'm missing. I'm so worried I'm having trouble sleeping.
I'll take whatever you've got. Fire away with the thoughts.
Hey Amy. I'm sorry this is happening. I have no advice, because I'm not a parent and children scare me. But I wanted to let you know that I'm sure it'll work out.
I love reading your stories because it reminds me so much of my family some times it is crazy. I have a 5 year old daughter who just started kindergarten this year, and a 1 month old son. My daughter does the pee-pee thing too, but mostly when she seems to be "busy" to be bothered with going to the potty. I talked with my doctor and she said it was just a phase and she would eventually grow out of it, but that doesn't help me any when she is peeing in the middle of Wal-Mart!! I wouldn't worry too much, and good luck!
Thank you, Holly! I can't begin to tell you how much better you've made me feel!
Hey there. Just had to give a little info. No one has all the answers and what works for one will not necessarily work for another. I don't remember my oldest very well (he's 15 now) except we kept a dry day sticker chart and when it was full he would either get a prepurchased reward or a promise of a reward (like a sticker book). With my youngest who is now 4 and liked being in wet diapers because he imagined he was swimming I laid it down like this. " I know what you look like when you have to pee and you know when you need to pee so I am not going to tell you when to go to the bathroom you need to decide that." It has to be her decision to go to the bathroom. My son used to like to poop in his pants. For this one (after being sure it was not a health or body control issue) I took away one day of TV time. He loves his movies when I am making supper and in the evening. It only took one time and he never had any accidents again since then. Except for when he became a diabetic and had bed wetting. The sudden bed wetting was the reason we took him to the doctor and found that there was a health issue. None the less; she will have to decide that going to the bathroom before it is an emergency really is better than getting that feeling of losing control.
nice, really nice!