The other day, one of my friends put up a status update on Facebook asking us what crazy things we've said since we became parents -- things you totally would have no reason to say unless you had a kid.
I contributed the following:
"DON'T PUT YOGURT ON THE DOG!"
"Samantha, you do not have a penis."
and
"You can't lay on the cat's head because he can't breathe when you do that."
I've got a new one to add.
Tuesday was Sam's 6th birthday -- I know, can you believe she's 6 already? Good lord -- and we took her to Red Robin for dinner because we figured she'd love to have a crowd of servers sing "Happy Birthday" very loudly to her. (We were right, by the way.)
Then, we took her to Target and let her pick out her own present (within financial reason, of course), and she snagged a Pet Vet Barbie plus an extra Barbie on sale for $5.
Mr. Noah picked out a medium-sized blue plastic wagon for himself, which we let him happily push and pull through the store on the way to the checkout.
Unfortunately, my littlest munchkin was on his second day of fighting a cold that made yellow and green blecky stuff pour out of his nose and eyes.
Yes, I said yellow and green blecky stuff from his eyes.
As we were rambling through the aisles, making our way roughly toward the front of the store, I glanced down and noticed some gree goop seeping out again. "Aw, crap," I murmured to my husband, "he's got more junk coming out of his eyes."
"I'll get it!" Sam declared, swooping her right index finger into the corner of his eyeball and nabbing the bleckiness.
Then she looked around -- thankfully discarding the option of some nearby clothing -- and wiped the goo onto the floor.
"Samantha!" I yelled. "Do not smear your brother's eye goop on the floor of Target!"
Yup, that's one of those phrases I would never have had the opportunity to utter in any other version of my life.
Anything you've said lately that made you stop and crack up?
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