Cute kid stories: May 2007 Archives

We were car shopping this weekend because we have finally been forced to admit that my husband's four-door pickup ain't nothing but a money-sucking gas-guzzler. During what must have been several boring hours for her, however, little Miss Sammy was as close to angel as she can get.

On the way home from one lengthy excursion, my husband was trying very hard to entertain Sam. During a lull, he gasped, pointed toward the sky and said, "Sam, did you see that? I just saw Superman!"

Sam (peering out the window beside her car seat): "Superman?"

Damon: "Yeah, Superman! I just saw him again -- look! There he goes! Did you see him?"

Sam: "I saw him! I saw him! Oh, wait ... that's just bird poop."

That must've been some fast-flying, blue-and-red-garbed bird doo-doo. Although I have had some bird poop stuck to my car that seemed as strong as steel ...

What's the funniest thing your kids have said lately?

Just when I think that Sammy's main purpose in life is to torment me, she does some really adorable things.

Her new favorite thing to say to me: "Mommy, are you my best friend?"

And even though she asks Daddy and Mojo and Jack-Jack this question, too -- expecting "yes" answers from all of them -- it just seems more special when she asks me and snuggles in for a hug.

My favorite thing she's said lately:

Last weekend, we were outside playing hide and seek in the yard. I was hiding, and Sam was looking for me. She walked up to my husband, who was -- as always -- working on our barn, and she said, "Daddy, have you seen Mommy?"

Damon: "Uh, I'm not sure. What does she look like?"

Sam: "Well, she has long hair and soft fingers."

That's just adorable.

By the way, her description of Damon when I asked her later? "He had short hair and hair on his arms and hands." (You'd think I was married to a monkey from that description.) Surprisingly, my husband laughed and said, "Well, yeah, I do. I never realized she noticed."

What's the cutest thing your kids have said lately?

I once heard a comedian say that humans rule the Earth because we are the only creatures not afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

I kinda have to agree.

I wouldn't say Sam's exactly afraid of the vacuum cleaner, but it's certainly not on the top 10 list of things she'd spend time with. To help her overcome her reticence about it, I asked Nana to get her a toy vacuum for Christmas last year (and Nana got a Dirt Devil that really works, God bless her!). So when it's time to sweep, I get out my vacuum and Sam gets out hers (we store them together in the pantry).

A few weeks ago, I had the vacuum sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, and Sam was standing beside it, her little red vacuum at the ready. I carried the cord to the wall and plugged it in.

And the vacuum turned on. I must have bumped the switch or left it in the "on" position the last time I used it.

Sam freaked. She looked like Shaggy in a Scooby-Doo cartoon: Her legs were pumping up and down like crazy, but she wasn't going anywhere. After a couple of seconds, she got some traction and took off for the living room, her little vacuum biting the dust on the floor.

I was howling. It was mean, I know, but man, it was funny. I turned the sweeper off and went to hold her and apologize for not checking before I plugged it in.

Now, anytime I'm going to vacuum, I warn her.

Me: "Sammy, I have to turn on the vacuum now."

Sam: "OK, Mommy. You turn on the vacuum n' I'll go hide, OK?"

Being a cat, my Jack-Jack also high-tails it out of any room I'm in with the vacuum. Mojo, our puppy, would like to check it out, but he's not sure yet whether it's going to eat his tail. And there's a good chance my husband just might be allergic to using it.

So what does that mean? It means I get to vacuum in peace. I'm all alone. No one pesters me. Nobody needs anything from me. I can't hear anyone hollering for help to pee, or any animal barking or meowing, or anybody asking me for a back rub.

It's my little moment of paradise.

Funny how it now takes me longer to sweep ...