The new baby: February 2008 Archives

For almost seven straight weeks, I took care of a really cute sack of potatoes.

The sack slept a lot. It ate pretty regularly. It burped. It got sweet little hiccups at least two or three times a day. It dirtied its diapers. It looked adorable in the little blue and green outfits we put on it. It fussed and cried some when it needed assistance.

But really, I got nothing back. My sole reward for doing good work was silence -- the sound of a contented sack sleeping or looking at fascinating objects.

And then, it smiled.

Today my baby screamed so hard that his whole face was bright red, tears rolled down his chubby cheeks into his ears and he could be consoled for only about a minute at a time before he started crying again.

And I walked out the door and went to work.

I was just sitting at my desk proofreading pages for the Monday paper, and out of nowhere I suddenly smelled Noah's sweet baby scent.

It was that no-sweat-but-a-touch-of-formula-dried-in-his-neck-all-topped-off-with-baby-lotion smell, and my eyes teared up.

I'm four days into my first week back. I've seen him less each day this week; today, it was a total of about an hour and 10 minutes. And that includes the few minutes I spent each of the three times I snuck into his room and kissed his baby head while he slept.

It's at times like this I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

At the age of 4, Sam has mastered the art of the guilt trip.

As I tried to leave for work Tuesday, my first day back, Sam clutched my leg and begged, "Please, Mommy, don't go to work! Please, PLEASE don't go to work!"

The only way I could get her to stop? By threatening to put her in the time-out chair. How's that for horrendous?

It's 11:45 p.m. right now. It's been 9.5 hours since I last saw my baby.

That's more than twice as long as I've ever been away from him in his whole life.

What's he doing? Is he sleeping? Is he keeping Daddy awake for some reason? Is he hungry? Cold? Warm? In need of a diaper change? Smiling?

I miss his little baby smell and the feel of the soft hair on his little head.

I swear I'm happy to be back at work, but I'm just having a rough time here toward the end of my first long night.

*Sigh*

Here are two shots my friend Bil just took this past Friday. More are on the way, I promise!

Peek a boo!