Perfecting the art of butt clenching

Jason Plotkin - Daily Record/Sunday News

Jason Plotkin – Daily Record/Sunday News

Ice is terrifying. The older I get, the greater my fear of falling becomes. Running through snow mostly just means you get an extra bonus workout (that you didn’t ask for) because it’s like running through sand. To run on ice though, you’re taking your life, or more realistically your pride, in your hands.

Runners deal with ice in different ways. You can buy Yaktrax or similar products to put on your shoes to help with traction.

You can modify an old pair of sneaks with some screws and the help of this video from Runner’s World.

You can run on a treadmill when the weather gets really bad like a sane person (or these adorable dogs).

Or, if you’re like me and keep putting off investing in appropriate footwear, you can perfect the art of running as though you are clenching a quarter between your butt cheeks and hope for the best. Sure, I could got to the gym instead. But that takes so much more time, it smells funny, I don’t look good in fluorescent light, blah blah blah you know how it is.

Because I live in the city, I run a lot on sidewalks. And here is where we get to the real reason I’m on this topic, so I can call out all the York city businesses and homeowners who don’t shovel your sidewalks. Because, really guys? I’m 90% sure it’s the law.
The great thing about cities is you can walk to get to a lot of places. But this means whether or not you shovel, people are going to traverse over your sidewalk. If you don’t shovel, the snow just packs down and when we’re talking about that nice heavy wet stuff we got monday, these footsteps create an inch or two of uneven, butt clenching, terrifying ice.

I felt like some bizarro version of Santa on my run tuesday morning making a mental naughty and nice list of those who shoveled and those who did not. I have no present but my gratitude to give those who shoveled and even salted their walks, but for those on the naughty list I’ve got an endless supply of snot waiting to be rocketed.

About Kate Penn

I’ve been a staff photographer at YDR for about 7 years. I’m into visual media, running, and food. Reach me @k8penn

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