Just for fun: December 2008 Archives

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

I'll remember that the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose on her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

Sent in by Puppy Tails-Jorvik a pet boutique, 292 Dew Drop Road, York Township

According to Men's Health magazine, the following are the best cities for dogs:

1. Colorado Springs
2. Portland, Oregon
3. Albuquerque, New Mexico
4. Tucson, Arizona
5. Seattle, Washington
6. Denver, Colorado
7. Austin, Texas
8. San Francisco, California
9. Tampa, Florida
10. Sacramento, California

The three worst cities? Jacksonville, Florida; Washington, D.C.; and Detroit, Michigan.

-- Based on calculations of dog parks, shelters, dog ownership and veterinarians

To find out more, visit http://www.menshealth.com/dogs.

From petloverstips.com:

This all natural dog biscuit recipe is simple to make, and can even be put together by kids and adults.

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

¼ cup of carrots

3 cups of finely chopped parsley

¼ cup of finely grated cheese. Make sure that the dog likes the kind of cheese you use to ensure that he gets the tastes he wants. Typically, Parmesan or mozzarella cheese is best to use.

2¾ cups flour

2 tablespoons olive oil to the ingredients

2 teaspoons baking powder to give the biscuit a little "rise" when they're baked

2 teaspoons bran to make it extra healthy

½ cup water, and don't add it until all of the ingredients have been blended together.

Slowly add the water until there's a moist texture. Knead the dough to uniform rill using rolling pin. Cut in fun shapes.

On a slightly greased baking sheet, place the cut dough and bake 20 to 30 minutes.

Every shelter is full - we are lost, but not found,

Our numbers are hung on our cages so bare,

We hope every minute that someone will care,

They'll come to adopt us and give us a chance!

 Here, Fluffy and Garfield - come play with your new catnip mouse.

But now we sit here and think of the days...

We were treated so fondly -- we had cute, baby ways,

Every shelter is full -- we are lost, but not found,

Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,

We hope every minute that someone will care,

They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,

"Come here, Max and Sparkie -- come fetch your new ball!

Sent in from a reader:

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:

SIR: "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."