Play groups not just for kids
By MELISSA NANN BURKE
For Smart
Kimberly Soderberg had a specific vision of the play group she wanted to form: First-time moms, who, like her, were around 30 years old and fairly new to the York area.
At the time, Soderberg’s son, Greyson, was 4 months old and she was 31. She wanted some social time with other moms on Mondays, the one weekday she doesn’t work.
“That was turning into the day with me cleaning the house from top to bottom and staying in my pajamas all day,” said Soderberg, a Spanish teacher who lives in Conewago Township.
“I wanted a reason to take a shower, get dressed and have something to look forward to for myself.”
Using the Internet site Meetup.com, Soderberg founded New Mommies and Babies of York, which, now five months old, has 11 members hailing from Red Lion to Hanover to Manchester.
Soderberg is far from alone in seeking out a play group for her own social needs as well as her child’s. Parents who stay at home, work part time or work from home often find themselves missing the daily interaction of the office and craving meaningful adult interaction.
Play groups that function as mommy-support groups help fill the void, women say.
“After deciding to stay home, I didn’t want to go crazy,” said Kathy Carlisle, 35, of Manchester Township. “I had to get out.”
In 2003, she joined the MOMS Club of York-West, one of four MOMS Club chapters in York County. Her daughter, now 5, met her first group of friends, and Carlisle got involved in the club’s community service committee.
Each group is different. Generally, while the kids play, the parents mingle. Sometimes they stay in touch outside of the gatherings with chatty online message boards.
They discuss topics such as breast-feeding, potty training, school readiness, even family finances. Some groups meet up without their kids for “moms’ night out” at local restaurants or karaoke bars.
“Moms and Dads who come out of the work place still need some adult interaction,” said Tracey Thomas, 35.
An HIV research scientist, Thomas moved to Conewago Township last summer from Washington, D.C., and plans to stay home until 1-year-old Taylor starts school full time.
She used Meetup.com to organize the York Mocha Moms Interest Group, which currently has 12 members with children ranging from 6 months old to nearly 3 years old.
Mocha Moms meets weekly at a York County church rent-free and at Springettsbury Township park for walks.
Most Mocha Moms parents (currently all moms and one dad) stay at home or work from home, although this isn’t a requirement of membership, Thomas said.
The group targets moms of color but doesn’t exclude any parent or caretaker because of ethnicity. The interest in bringing together “mocha” moms is “simply because you don’t see a lot of us at home with our kids,” Thomas said.
This is for different reasons but is often because of pressure from friends and family to stay on the career path and not “waste” the degree the Mom worked hard to earn.
“It’s a cultural thing,” Thomas explained.
“But that’s where the ‘mom of color’ specification came in. We have members who are not ‘mocha’ that are active who thankfully didn’t see ‘mocha’ and shut it off and who add greatly to the group and come out consistently.”
When the toddlers get older, their parents are encouraged to join a group like MoYo, a larger, more play-intensive play group that stands for Moms of York County, Thomas said.
With about 60 active members, MoYo schedules weekly activities at venues such as Gymboree and Tumbletown and can arrange group discounts because of its numbers.
Like some other play groups, MoYo members pay minimal membership dues of $5 a year to help maintain the play group Web site and message boards.
MoYo uses the site to gather event RSVPs (a “no-show” policy discourages parents from repeatedly ditching the group) and for screening prospective members.
There’s a “no-lurkers rule” for security purposes; prospective members are asked to send an introduction to the group organizer and set up an online profile (with photo) within 24 hours of joining the Meetup.com group.
Amanda Pope, an 18-year-old mother, modeled her new play group after MoYo when she moved from Spring Grove to McSherrystown in December.
“These mom groups are really a lifesaver. When my daughter’s screaming her head off, there’s other moms there, and they know what I’m going through,” said Pope, who has an 18-month-old, Mariah.
“When my daughter’s sick, someone else’s has had it.”
A MoYo member, Pope still drives back to the greater York area for MoYo events but wanted to organize a group closer to home. She calls it McMommys (borrowing the “Mc” from McSherrystown).
McMommys has 50 active members who hail from the McSherrystown-Hanover-Westminster-Baltimore corridor. Dues are $1 a month.
In addition to Gymboree and Chuck E. Cheese’s, McMommys gathers at the Westminster library for story hour and in public parks near McSherrystown.
Pope keeps the schedule to daytime events Mondays through Fridays because the weekends are family time, she said.
“It’s better than sitting around at home. I did that for a year,” Pope said.
“Now, my schedule’s packed. I usually have something to do every day with the meetups. Mariah gets up and gets her little shoes on and expects us to leave. She has a little routine.”
On the WebMeetup.com
Parentsplace.com, http://parenting.ivillage.com
The International MOMS Club, www.momsclub.org
MOMS Club of York-West, http://momsclubofyork.tripod.com
Focus On Your Child, http://focusonyourchild.com
Mocha Moms Online, www.mochamoms.org
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