Deal with school potty jitters
By BETH VRABEL
for Smart
Once the new backpack is stocked with sharpened pencils, fresh notebooks and lined paper, it’s time to get down to the really important back-to-school preparation: Getting your kid to use the potty. And we don’t mean No. 1.
“The peeing is not the problem,” said Dr. Allen Nussbaum of Pediatric Care of York. Many kids have suffered through the embarrassment of being known as “the one who made the bathroom stinky,” Nussbaum said. “Some kids may get embarrassed and then they hold it all day,” he said.
This is just one of many pitfalls parents should be on guard for before sending Junior on the school bus for the first day of school.
The best approach, Nussbaum said, is to suggest that children try their best at using the potty right after breakfast and after dinner.
Karen Baum, a New Salem Elementary teacher, said bathroom habits are sometimes an issue for kids who are not quite ready for the school-day routine. She said parents should remind the kids about how they all had to stop at rest stops and do what they needed to during summer roadtrips.
School should be looked at similarly: There’s a time and a place for pottying.
But that’s not the only body fluid that can ruin a school day.
“It’s amazing how nervous they are,” Baum said of new students. “I’ve had students throw up before I’ve ever said a word.”
Too many times, parents pressure kids about behaving at school, listening to the teacher and not embarrassing the parents. While all of those things are important, Baum said, be careful not to take it too far and have the kids go to school terrified.
Nussbaum said parents can usually relax about their children behaving in class. “When you look at your teacher, it’s like the teacher is this person on a pedestal. So if the teacher says, ‘This is the way it’s going to be,’ it’s OK.”
For the youngest children, don’t forget to give even obvious reassurances, Baum said. “When you put a kid on a bus, they have no idea when they’re coming home,” Baum said.
To help, give kindergartners real-life examples of when they’ll be leaving or when they’ll be coming home.
Instead of saying, “The bus will pick you up at 8 a.m.,” tell them “This is when you’ll get on the school bus” after breakfast for a few days before school starts. At lunchtime, say, “Now is when you’ll be back home from school.”
Keep routines similar to school days, even during the weekend, to keep kids ready for school, Nussbaum said. That may mean waking them up on Saturday mornings or putting them to bed when it’s still light outside. Some younger kids might need to give up their afternoon naps to stick out the school day, Nussbaum said.
“You have to be prepared because a lot of kids will get a bit irritable,” he said.
Baum said the best preparation for school is to have some time away from Mom and Dad, such as with a baby sitter or at a preschool. She also says it helps make school exciting and seem important if parents clear off an area of the home, such as a countertop or desk in the kitchen, as a place for the child to do his schoolwork and keep his supplies.
“Probably the biggest thing I would say is the parents need to be positive,” said Baum, urging that parents share stories about the friends they made in school and the lessons they learn. But don’t tell them everything, she said. “Not the horror stories.”
Writer’s notebookMy first day of kindergarten at Spring Grove Elementary School in 1984 was hot. I waited at the Jefferson bus stop, wearing the scratchiest, most uncomfortable dress I owned — the long, white flower girl gown from my aunt’s recent wedding.
The handful of other new kindergartners and I barely spoke while our moms posed us for pictures and seemed about as excited as my older sisters had been on the first day of summer break.
I was nervous, but not as nervous as one little girl. She was the oldest in her family and getting on the bus was a scary new concept to her. Her fear was about to unleash a flood. I’ll apologize now if the following is ever-so-slightly exaggerated, but it’s exactly as I remember it.
The bus driver arrived, and we piled inside, choosing our seats. Jefferson Elementary housed first- through third-graders, so we kindergartners had the bus to ourselves on the way to Spring Grove.
As we pulled away, the little girl turned green. Soft moans began to interrupt the boys’ pretend fart noises. The moans gave way to the undeniable sounds of retching, and, disgustingly, splashing noises.Soon, everyone was screaming, crying for their mothers, wailing about their soiled shoes or, even worse, adding their own partially digested breakfast to the waves of vomit splashing around the bus.
My clearest memory of my first day of kindergarten is raising my white Mary Janes up from the floor of the bus before they got coated.
So I can’t say I was entirely surprised when this article on back-to-school prep began to focus on getting children to control their bodily fluids of one type or another. But may I suggest: Make the kids wear comfortable clothes, even if they (like I did) want to show their teachers their best dress.
— Beth Vrabel
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