Picking the best activity for your child
When choosing an extra-curricular activity for your child, make sure to let them take the lead in choosing the activity.
Dance lessons, karate, art classes, sports, music lessons. It can be overwhelming for parents and kids to choose extracurricular activities.
Marie Bell, program director for the family life division of Family-Child Resources in York, said there are tremendous benefits for kids who participate in activities, including social interaction, confidence, independence and physical activity.
To find the right activity for your child-ren, Bell recommends observing them and talking with them about their interests.
“Go to the library or look on the Internet together for things that spark your child’s imagination,” Bell said.
Irene Burrill, assistant director of in-home services for Family and Children Services of Central Pennsylvania in York, said it could be beneficial for a parent and child to go to observe a class or a lesson before deciding on a particular activity.
“This way, the parent and child know what to expect,” she said. Even though some parents want their children to play a particular sport or instrument, it is better to leave the options open and let the child take the lead.
“Suggesting an activity is fine, but forcing kids to do something usually never works out,” Bell said.
Allowing children to feel they are in control means they will be more likely to pick activities they want to stick with. Once a child chooses something, it is important that a parent talks with him or her before running out and signing up.
“Kids change their minds a lot,” Bell said.
Make sure your children understand that by signing up for a sport or class they are making a commitment and that the parent will be spending money and time to support them.
Kids might want to quit at the beginning of a difficult task, such as learning to play an instrument, but can grow to like it later.
Bell said it’s a good idea to sign up for activities only on a monthly or seasonal basis. That way, if a child chooses not to continue an activity, he or she won’t have to stay with it for a whole year.
“This is a way that children can learn that there are sometimes consequences to the choices they make,” she said. She added that it also encourages kids to think through decisions.
Most parents want their children to be well-rounded, but one thing to avoid is activity overload — especially if there is more than one child in the household.
It’s easy for families to fill the schedule. This raises the stress level of parents who have to coordinate budgets and transportation as well as the younger members of the family.
“Recognize that kids at any age need downtime to daydream and relax,” she said.
Bell said that limiting each child to two activities per season could reduce the run-around.
“It is important to have a routine that is a balance of organized activities and free time,” she said.
Burrill said parents know their children and know what they can juggle.
“Some kids are able to do more than others,” she said. “Older children can usually handle a little more on their plates than younger ones.”
When things get too busy, Bell suggests clearing time on the schedule to help foster youthful creativity. “Kids sometimes need less-structured situations,” she said.
Planning at least one family night a week, when all members sit down and talk over a meal, is also important, Bell said.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are some children who don’t seem to be interested in anything.
Bell said that, with technology today, it is easy for kids to get used to sitting in front of computer and TV screens.
Parents can talk to teachers and counselors to find out if a child has special interests outside of the home. Bell said to give kids choices, but limit those choices.
“Let kids know that they have options, but being a couch potato is not one of them,” she said.
Burrill said another way to encourage reluctant children to try an activity is to talk to them about what friends and relatives are doing.
“Sometimes a child will be more comfortable doing an activity where they know someone else,” she said.
Help kids discover interests by encouraging them to run their own activities such as lemonade stands, backyard circuses and pick-up games.
“Parents usually want to jump in and coordinate everything themselves,” Bell said.
Staying hands-off can sometimes help kids find activities they love.
Unique activities Here are a few out-of-the-ordinary activities to consider:Knitting: Drop-in beginner classes at Uncommon Threads, 294 W. Market St. in York. $10 for one hour, $15 for two hours. Call 866-323-9276 for store hours or visit www.uncommonthreads-pa.com.
Synchronized swimming: York Synchro-ettes is an all-girls team that meets at the YWCA. For details, call aquatics director Kathy Warner at 845-2631, ext. 14.
Language classes: Fluent Kids classes in Harrisburg, Hershey, Camp Hill and Lancaster. For locations and details, call 657-6190 or visit www.fluentkids.com.
Archery lessons: Available at Kinsey’s Outdoors, 1658 Steel Way Drive in Mount Joy. For details, call 653-5524.
Playwrighting and acting: “Once Upon a Time” class at Imagine! Studio of the Arts, 53 N. Main St. in Jacobus. Third- through sixth-graders write and perform their own fairy tale. For details, call 428-1402 or visit www.inspirestudioofthearts.com.
Fencing and Ultimate Frisbee (for older kids): YMCA of York and York County, 90 N. Newberry St. in York. For details, call 843-7884.
Tips to help a child choose an activityObserve: Keep your eyes open for what sparks your child’s interest.
Give choices: Let your child choose from several activities instead of selecting one yourself.
Set limits: Don’t overload. Keep the family budget and schedule under control with two activities for each child.
Communicate: Talk to your children about the activities they choose before, during and after they participate in them. Let others in the family know when changes are made to the schedule.
Negotiate: Let a child know that a commitment to activities is important. Try to observe a class or lesson with your child before signing up for an entire year.
Tips to help children enjoy activities• Encourage your kids to succeed, but don’t demand it. Let kids know it is important to do their best but they shouldn’t necessarily fear failure.
• Don’t praise dishonestly. If a child strikes out or messes up at a recital, don’t tell them they did a great job. Show that you love them whether they are performing well.
• Set performance goals that are in the child’s control and can help the child improve. These goals should be challenging but not too difficult to help create an enjoyable learning experience.
• Don’t forget family time: Talking and interacting with family members is important to a child’s development. Clear the schedule for a family meal at least once a week.
•Stay hands-off to a point: Give your child some time and space to discover what he or she likes.
Sources: YMCA, Marie Bell, program director for the family life division of Family-Child Resources in York, and Irene Burrill, assistant director of in-home services for Family and Children Services of Central Pennsylvania
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