Don't wait for one-on-one time, plan for it
Diane Sargeant, director of Education Services for Wellspan, tries to keep the radio and cell phone off while carpooling her teenage son around town, taking advantage of the time together to reconnect.
By NANCY POSTER for Smart
Life can be a balancing act for working parents as they juggle on-the-job duties with caring for their home and family.
Add to the mix a hefty dose of guilt that afflicts many parents who wish they could carve out more one-on-one time with their kids.
What’s a mom and dad to do?
“We do find a lot of parents asking that question,” said Desiree Irvin, Outreach Coordinator for Family-Child Resources in York.
For nearly 35 years, the organization has provided education, counseling, prevention and intervention services and programs to the community.
As a mother who works outside the home, Irvin said, she also wonders how to find those all-too-precious moments.
She suggests parents set aside a family night that doesn’t involve the use of the television or other electronics. However, that connection doesn’t have to be made at home.
“Just carve out some special time to go to a bookstore or library together,” said Diane Sargeant, the director of Education Services for Wellspan. “Hang out and read.”
Families can also connect over a meal.
Busy parents are often too tired to spend much time in the kitchen, so take the child to a restaurant for some one-on-one time.
Or, try making dinner together at home. There are lots of recipes for children to make with mom and dad, she said.
And why not ask the kids to join mom and dad in doing household chores?
“Absolutely,” Irvin said. “It builds self-esteem and self-confidence.”
Travel time — commuting to school or day care or simply running errands — also can be put to better use by turning off the radio and cell phone. Just use the time to talk to your child, Irvin said.
And when it’s necessary to bring work home from the office, take a moment to explain to the child that you have a project that needs to be completed. In turn, tell the child that you’re setting some family time aside.
During that time, try treating yourselves to a picnic lunch or simply brown-bag it, Irvin said.
Sargeant, who conducts work-life balance classes for the staff at Wellspan, said parents should take a three-pronged approach to finding one-on-one time with their kids.
• Plan it. Don’t leave family time to chance. It just won’t happen.
• Don’t over-commit.
• Follow through.
“Don’t promise, then let other things stand in the way,” Sargeant said.
Some chores 2- to 3-year-olds can do with mom and dad • Help make the bed. • Help feed pets. • Dust with socks on their hands. Some chores for ages 4 and 5: • Help clear and set the table. • Help cook and prepare food. • Help carry and put away groceries.Some chores for ages 6 to 8:
• Take care of pets.
• Help take out trash.Some chores for ages 9 to 12:
• Help fold and put away the laundry.
• Help wash the car.
• Rake leaves.
Source: About.com
