An awfully atrociously ardent (home wrecker)

I really dislike you. I want you to see this.
That's why I smashed your best silver tea set.
And those new socks are filled with dirt.
Dirt, I say. The very best kind, with worms.
Worms - from your garden! I tore that up.
It's best not to say, but I raided your fridge.
What? I was hungry. Chomp, chew, goes the mincemeat pie.
I consider myself, a garden gnome.
Your personal pest.
How do you do? No charge necessary.
I'm here to annoy you, bother you, tease you, distract you
From the fact that I'm madly in love.