3 Reasons To Hate Soulja Boy

3 Reasons To Hate Soulja Boy
As anyone familiar with the music industry should know by now, hip hop died when Biggie and Tupac took their last breaths. Every form of rap today is commercialized, with an emphasis on irrelevant lyrics over a somewhat catchy beat. The biggest advocate of this catastrophe is, of course, Soulja Boy, or as he is known on iTunes by his much cooler name, Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. If you don’t hate him already, here’s something to think about:
1. Lyrics – Not everyone can share Eminem’s assonance or Method Man’s flow, but Soulja Boy’s lyrics are equivalent to a childhood nursery rhyme and his flow is reminiscent of an inebriated hobo shouting at pigeons to get away from his shopping cart of recycled cans. His latest, “Kiss Me Thru the Phone,” is another exercise in incompetency. First of all, I’m not sure how you kiss someone through the phone, but I can imagine it’s very awkward for all parties involved. However, Soulja Boy really felt he had a sentimental love ballad on his hands, so for about three minutes, he repeats different variations of the words “I miss you,” his phone number and, of course, the title of the song. Brilliance.
2. Money – Interscope Records (the biggest of the many labels to which he belongs) pays Soulja Boy millions of dollars to be an idiot. The average salary for a brain surgeon is about half a million. To put it in perspective, Soulja Boy’s incoherent rambling earns him about four or five times what the most challenging profession in medicine makes. The message? All you members of the middle class who are struggling to pay the mortgage or put your kids through college should take out a notepad, stare around the room you are currently in, and write down the first object you see about 20 times. Find some white kid who thinks he’s black to beat box while you babble that word for roughly four minutes, and you should be a millionaire. Given, you might not have Soulja Boy’s distinct creativity, but money is money.
3. The Fact That He Is Single-Handedly Helping To Kill Music In General – Hip Hop is dead, but thanks to people like Soulja Boy, all sorts of genres are trying to be more commercial with their music. Current music is garbage. I gave up my iPod for Lent and was forced to listen to the radio. By Easter, I was ready to harm myself. Pop, rock, alternative — everything is more Nickelback than Nirvana, more Flo-Rida than Wu-Tang. I realize money rules everything, but if idiots like Soulja Boy are successful, bands and rappers altogether will stop trying to write good lyrics and produce catchy beats and resort to spitting out some piece of crap that gets all the 12-year-olds at junior high dances to grind on each other like a rottweiler going to town on a stranger’s leg. And all the 90-pound boys in wife beaters will throw their hands in the air and go “Woooo! Soulja Boy’s lyrics are insane, yo!”
Soulja Boy is the devil. He needs to be stopped. His music has insulted our intelligence and made us cover our ears for too long. Hopefully he will fade away before people stop listening to music altogether.
— By SEAN RAMIREZ, Susquehannock High School

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