Catastrophic hymns from yesterday, Of misery

Tonight, I went to eat at a little York restaurant called Kickin’ Kadilaks Bar & Grill. From the outside, the place does not look too special. It is small and not fabulously polished. Inside, it looks wonderful. The lighting is low, lit mainly by candles. The walls and tables have a rose color to them, and are decorated by little chili peppers. Kickin Kadilaks has a surprisingly nice atmosphere (at least the restaurant half does; I cannot speak for the bar). The large flat-screen television doesn’t hurt either.
The place is small and the workers few, but they are very kind and welcoming. I started the meal with a bowl of their cream of crab soup, which arrived very quickly (the fact that my family were the only ones there probably helped). One spoonful of the soup can instantly raise your spirits and make your mouth begin to water. I shortly found myself scraping the bottom of the bowl, wishing for it to magically refill itself. Sadly, it did not.

Looking at the menu was difficult, as there were many fine choices. However, I had been craving some hot wings all week, and when the colorfully-named “Misery Wings” caught my eye, I simply couldn’t resist. The waitress was sure to warn me before I secured the order, and I am glad she did. She provided me with a little sample of the sauce. I tried, and with just a toothpick-sized taste, heat radiated through my mouth and down my throat.
If you did not know already, I will let you know now. I am an idiot. A normal person’s brain would have though something along the lines of “These are too hot for you, do not eat them.” Instead, my mind screamed “Get them!” So, I ordered the misery wings.
Needless to say, they were very, very hot. By hot, I don’t mean “Oh, these are kind of spicy.” I mean “What have I done? I will burn forever.” I was in tears almost immediately. Don’t get me wrong, they tasted delicious. They did exactly what they were meant to do. Once I finished the twelfth and final wing, I was a mess, and it seemed as if I could breathe fire. However, I was left with the sensations of satisfaction and victory.
In case it wasn’t clear, I highly recommend this place. It is not extremely well known, but it deserves to be. The food in genuinely good. As far as prices go, they’re pretty average. They don’t go as high as places like Red Lobster, but they’re no McDonald’s either. If you do go here, I’ll leave you with a word of warning. Do not underestimate the misery wings, or you will regret it.
The title is courtesy of the song “Misery” by Green Day.

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3 Responses to Catastrophic hymns from yesterday, Of misery

  1. Pamela Kadilak says:

    Kickin’ Kadilaks Bar & Grill: Dear John, Thank you so much, for probably the most wonderful piece, I have seen written on our humble bar & restaurant! You get me… I do believe that there is a journalism degree in your future. A little history… on the misery wings, j…ust for you. My husband has made all the recipes for all the sauces that we serve at Kickin’ Kadilaks. So, for our five year anniversary, I asked him to make me a “killer sauce” for our wings… The object of the new sauce was to have a contest for the anniversary party. He made the sauce and we named it” Misery” then we decided to have a contest of “How many Misery Wings can you eat in 5 minutes?” for the five years we had been in business. If I remember correctly Bronson Elliott ate 22 Misery Wings in 5 minutes!!! It was awesome!!! For future interest… our ten year anniversary will be November 13th, 2012 and I already have the name picked out for this sauce “Top Secret” of course, but since you have proved you are worthy of this honor… I will have to make sure that you are in on this one!!! Over and above the special ties we have to your family, I am honored to have made an impression on such an intelligent young man as yourself… Thank you, John! Sincerely, Pamela & Michael Kadilak

  2. John VI says:

    22 wings in 5 minutes? How is that even possible?! It must’ve been torture for him later that night.

  3. Randy says:

    He’s a good friend of mine and he was looking for a klondike bar in the morning but i think he was better off then the guy who went to the bathroom without washing his hands FIRST!

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