Talk about a buzzkill

Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Never have I been so disappointed in my entire life.

I used to be absolutely horrified of scary movies — to the point where I would become greatly disturbed merely from watching “Lost.” Then, sometime around last year, I simply stopped being afraid of scary movies. I’m not entirely sure how or why it happened, but I now find all scary movies to be repetitive and ludicrous.

Because of this, I had high hopes for “Paranormal Activity 3.” I expected it to be everything that the reviews claimed it was — edgy, emotionally-scarring and terrifying. I actually expected it to scare me.

Boy was I wrong.

It was none of these things.

I don’t even understand how this movie could even remotely UNSETTLE someone. It was the most absurd compilation of choppy wide-screen shots, bad acting and non-suspenseful silence that I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. The whole movie literally consisted of household objects falling off shelves, a 6-year-old girl talking to her imaginary friend, and lights flickering on and off.

I’m pretty sure that I could watch “Paranormal Activity 3″ alone at 3 a.m. and not be phased.

Ironically, as I’m writing this post, a commercial for this disgrace of a movie just came on the TV, quoting what I’m assuming to be an 8-year-old girl saying, “The last 15 minutes will mess you up for life.”

You know what I was doing for the last 15 minutes of “Paranormal Activity 3″? Not getting messed up for life, that’s what. I was, I kid you not, falling asleep.

When the household camera wasn’t shifting right to left and revealing a swinging lamp about the eighth time it rotated, there were at least three 10-minute conversations about whether there actually was or was not something amiss transpiring in the house.

I’m pretty sure that if I see strange entities floating around in the early morning hours, I’m not going to ponder possible alternative explanations for the occurrences.

In general, the movie was awful.

About Paige

Hi, I'm Paige. :)
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