Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures
Never have I been so disappointed in my entire life.
I used to be absolutely horrified of scary movies — to the point where I would become greatly disturbed merely from watching “Lost.” Then, sometime around last year, I simply stopped being afraid of scary movies. I’m not entirely sure how or why it happened, but I now find all scary movies to be repetitive and ludicrous.
Because of this, I had high hopes for “Paranormal Activity 3.” I expected it to be everything that the reviews claimed it was — edgy, emotionally-scarring and terrifying. I actually expected it to scare me.
Boy was I wrong.
It was none of these things.
I don’t even understand how this movie could even remotely UNSETTLE someone. It was the most absurd compilation of choppy wide-screen shots, bad acting and non-suspenseful silence that I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. The whole movie literally consisted of household objects falling off shelves, a 6-year-old girl talking to her imaginary friend, and lights flickering on and off.
I’m pretty sure that I could watch “Paranormal Activity 3″ alone at 3 a.m. and not be phased.
Ironically, as I’m writing this post, a commercial for this disgrace of a movie just came on the TV, quoting what I’m assuming to be an 8-year-old girl saying, “The last 15 minutes will mess you up for life.”
You know what I was doing for the last 15 minutes of “Paranormal Activity 3″? Not getting messed up for life, that’s what. I was, I kid you not, falling asleep.
When the household camera wasn’t shifting right to left and revealing a swinging lamp about the eighth time it rotated, there were at least three 10-minute conversations about whether there actually was or was not something amiss transpiring in the house.
I’m pretty sure that if I see strange entities floating around in the early morning hours, I’m not going to ponder possible alternative explanations for the occurrences.
In general, the movie was awful.
