The five Christmas songs I’m least looking forward to hearing

By EVELYN WAGAMAN,
Spring Grove Area High School

As the holiday season rolls around, I can’t help thinking that the worst part is not the frantic gift-searching or the awkward family get-togethers, but rather, a whole different monster: the music. Yes, it’s the winter soundtrack that displeases me the most. Below I’ve ranked the worst of the worst. Happy holidays!

5. “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” Mariah Carey

Complete with jingle bells in the background, this over-the-top number makes me question why we lower our standards for love songs over the holidays.

4. “Santa Baby,” Kylie Minogue

Sex appeal plus Santa equals a sorry excuse for a song. Unfortunately, the math is harder than it looks for some people.

3. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” Barry Manilow and K.T. Oslin

This song gives me bad vibes. By the time Oslin sings, “Say, what’s in this drink?” I’m totally creeped out.

2. “The Christmas Shoes,” Newsong

This song is cheesy until the kid’s voice chimes in near the end. Then it oozes gooey mozzarella all over the place.

1. “The Chipmunk Song,” David Seville

This is the one about the hula hoop – you know which one I’m talking about. Somehow, in addition to singing this song, the Chipmunks managed to star in two movies. Mind control is the only explanation.

 

About Matt Eyer

Assistant Features Editor at the York Daily Record/Sunday News. Read my (mostly ancient Greece-related) books reviews at Book Buzz. Follow me on Twitter @mjeyer.
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