It’s clearly time that we go even further in the quest to unmask every rotten, stinkin’ blood doper in the wide world of sports. Here are some more athletes who I believe should be scrutinized:
Timmy Lupus, Chico’s Bail Bonds: Terrible athletes who suddenly make great plays are always suspicious. Timmy only makes that Web gem of a catch at the fence if he’s doping.
Daniel LaRusso, Miyagi-do Karate: How else can you explain LaRusso’s quick return to competition from a potential career-ending leg injury?
Jimmy Chitwood, Hickory High School: He was just a little too good and too accurate, don’t you think? And he never got tired. Clearly a doper.
Anakin Skywalker, Mos Espa Pod Racing Arena: Midichlorians, schmidichlorians. Don’t give me that “force� nonsense. The kid was clearly juicing to win pod races.


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