How P.C. killed PorkChop

By David Whitley
The Orlando Sentinel

The next time you’re in a restaurant, be careful if you order the pork chops. You never know who might be listening.

If it’s a member of the Latino Leadership Alliance, you might be called something offensive. Of course, these days everything is offensive. Ask baseball fans in Pennsylvania.

The Phillies’ new Class AAA franchise just had a contest to name its mascot. Since the team is the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, the winner was PorkChop.

Get it — Pigs, pork?

It sounded harmless enough. But the Latino Leadership Alliance said “Pork Chop” is a racist term for Puerto Ricans. The team quickly changed the mascot’s name to “Ferrous,” a term that indicates the presence of iron.

Iron-headed reasoning, in this case.

“We were really unaware of any negative connotations with the word ‘Pork Chop,’ “ General Manager Kurt Landes said. “If it offended a few, it’s a few too many.”

By that reasoning, it’s time to ship almost every mascot off to the sausage factory.

I’m certainly no expert on Hispanic slang, so I asked my friend George Diaz if he’d ever heard the term “Pork chop” used as a racial slur.

“Huh?” he said.

He asked a couple of Hispanics, including a Puerto Rican. They’d heard of pork being used in casseroles — but never used as an insult.

That’s not to say the nickname reformists are wrong. I can see why Native Americans don’t consider it an “honor” when fans put on war paint and do the tomahawk chop.

But this name is not derived from a race, creed or any group identity. It is a piece of meat, best served grilled or stuffed.

The mascot itself has no Hispanic elements. It’s not the Frito Bandito or the Taco Bell Chihuahua or some other mascot based on a stereotype.

It’s a furry gray pig wearing a baseball jersey. It just happened to be named after the other white meat.

“If my parents were alive, they’d be having fits,” said Guillermo Lopez, vice president of the Latino Leadership Alliance. “It meant much more to them than it does to Puerto Ricans now in the Lehigh Valley.”

In other words, it doesn’t matter that most people don’t even know they’re supposed to be bothered. Now we’re trying not to offend people who are no longer alive.

May they now rest in peace. As for those of us still living in politically correct America, the standard question in these controversies is simple:

Would a reasonable person be offended? In this case, is it reasonable to ban all names, phrases, colors and foods that bother someone?

If you say yes, send the police to round up Lil’ Red. He’s Nebraska’s mascot, but “Red” is a derogatory phrase, according to the Racial Slur Database.

You can throw him in P.C. Jail next to veteran convict Martha Stewart. Yes, the name is now considered a racial slur against white women. All of you who had the “Martha Stewarts” as the nickname for next NFL expansion team are out of luck.

Among the foods considered slurs — burgers, cabbage, saltines, Slurpees, raisins, potatoes, meat pies, fish, jelly beans, lamb chops, Doritos, eggplant, bologna, Wonder Bread, sprouts and pineapples.

So much for the Orlando Meat Pies.

Actually, “Orlando” is considered a racial slur. If you want to know why, check the Web site.

The only entry requirement seems to be somebody would be offended. That’s enough for the IronPigs, though “Pork Chop” was defined as a slur against Portuguese, not Puerto Ricans.

But according to the Urban Dictionary, Portuguese consider “Pork Chop” humorous and endearing. It’s all so confusing, but it’s not going to stop me the next time I’m in a restaurant and want a pork chop.

If somebody looks offended, I’ll send one over to them. And throw in a side order of common sense.