I don't remember what her name was, so we'll just refer to her as "The Evil One," or "The WOO! (Not be confused with The Wu - or The Wu-Tang Clan)"

Background: Jen and I have decided to help motivate each other by going to the gym, specifically, to the cycling class together. Wednesday was our second outing.

The class: We were both exhausted, and had thought about ducking out.

My excuse would've been that I slept through my alarm (despite the fact that I haven't needed an alarm clock - I work nights - in seven years).

Jen's excuse would've probably have been something along the same lines, but we both showed up, tired, but there to work out at 9:15 a.m.

This perky, loud woman was subbing for the regular teacher. With a voice that seemed to crawl up the back of my neck, she yelled at us, "GOOD MORNING!!!!"

Jen and I looked at each other.

We hated her already.

As we began our ride, The Evil One started that "WOO!" mess.

"DOESN'T EVERYONE FEEL GOOD!!!!" she yelled. "IF YOU FEEL GOOOOOOOOD LET ME HEAR YOU!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I think we could've tolerated her. . . enthusiasm, had she not been the instructor from the hot place.

In my own personal hell, this woman is instructing me in fitness classes, where she makes me work out until I throw up.

The worst part is her grating voice, telling me how good I look and how well I'm doing.

I look over at Jen, whose red face and expression tell me she probably thinking about the same hell.

At this point, we are only 15 minutes into an hour cycling class.

Have I mentioned how much we hate this woman?

Anywho, she takes us on these imaginary treks, which basically consist of us riding as hard as we can - standing up - indefinitely.

Huffing and puffing, Jen and I are ready to die. I could almost see my life flashing before my eyes.

I had to tough it out, because if I was going to the hot place, this woman would be there waiting for me in class. I imagined her face leering at me and flames surrounding her.

Now that's motivation.

I got some water and slowed down my pace. I was not going to let this woman kill me.

"WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ISN'T THIS SO GOOD!!!!!! DON'T YOU FEEL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!" The Evil One chirped.

We didn't.

We felt like we wanted to pass out, and it was all her fault.

And she just kept giving us all kinds of "encouragement." "YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT!!!!! YOU'RE DOING GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!"

I think we all just wanted her to shut up. I looked around the room, and the others in class were also giving her the look of death.

I swear cycling class is the longest hour I've ever experienced. I kept trying to think of other things, and block out the fact that I could no longer feel my butt or legs.

The Evil One just kept going, and she kept talking!

We're all out of breath from riding. . . who did she expect to respond - the bikes?

We were 15 minutes from the end of class. She let out another "WOO!" and I thought I might have to hold Jen and myself back from seriously hurting her.

Our bodies protested, but we kept going. We were going to finish the class, despite our instructor.

We glared at The WOO! as she finally let us cool down. Only five minutes left.

We still hated her.

I think Jen and I both agree we would rather get a tooth pulled without any drugs before we go to one of her classes again.

Still, we thanked The WOO! when were done.

Then we got the hell out of there, and didn't look back.

Epilogue: It's almost 24 hours later, and I still can't feel my legs.