I saw a man who looked just like my brother, Reggie, at the grocery store today.
(My younger brother, Reggie, 21, died on May 25, 2000, from complications with diabetes.)
I was in the middle of errands - going to the bank, visiting the post office and shopping for groceries at Giant.
In the Giant parking lot, man that looked so much like my brother it took my breath away, pushed the carts into their little corral, then headed back into the store.
I felt like I'd been hit by a ton of bricks. I tried to hold back the wave of emotions - the deep hurt of losing a sibling, missing him so much that it hurts and the toll his death has taken on my family.
It's seven years, but it still hurts. I tried to breath, but it felt like I couldn't get in enough air.
And I still had to do the grocery shopping, because my home is sorely lacking in the healthy food department (I did, however, have a stale loaf of wheat bread and some chocolate chip cookies to help me make it until I could get to the store.)
I made it through the grocery trip, filling the cart with wholesome food, listening to disco on my iPod and trying not to think of how much I miss Reggie.
I was all good - until I got to the register, and the man who was bagging my groceries was the one I saw in the parking lot.
His polite ways and shy smile reminded me of my funny, mountain-of-a-brother, who stood over six-feet-tall and who loved the Chicago Bears.
I thanked him as he finished bagging my groceries, and even made him laugh with a stale joke.
I made it all the way to my car before I started crying.
Grief, my friends, is like that. As I said in a column about it, grief comes back when you least expect it, and in places where you never look for it.
I still miss Reggie - a lot.
It's good sometimes to cleanse yourself with a cry. Focus on the the life he had and the great memories you have still. *cyber hug*
This is the first time reading your blog and I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your brother. I'm sure it can't be easy. Good luck to you and sending you lots of hugs.