Attack of the Muffin Tops
You know who they are.
They're the group of women, teens or even girls who have that fat roll showing over the top of their jeans, pants or even sweats..
Think a love handle, but one that goes all the way around. . .
For those who have seen the Muffin Top, you know what I'm talking about.
I admit, I've got my own jiggly body baked goods, but I keep them covered.
Not so with the Muffin Tops.
You see, the Muffin Tops usually run in packs.
They hang out together at the mall, the movies or in my case, the Turkey Hill store.
Muffin Tops support each other, and act as if their very visible fat is cute, or even, dare I say - sexy.
It's not.
I believe Muffins hang together because they've convinced each other that it's perfectly normal to display this roll of chub.
You may think I'm hatin', but seriously. . . aren't you tired of looking at the Muffins?
Don't you wish someone, hell, anyone would say to them, "Look here, chunky girl, please cover that up?"
That's how I felt at the Turkey Hill over the weekend, standing behind this woman, whose fat roll was so bare and close that it was taunting me.
She had squeezed into these tight, tight dress pants that left little to the imagination Muffin-wise.
As I looked at her bare, flab, just hanging out and saying hello, I wondered, "Did she not get the memo that it's only 20 degrees out? Isn't her fat cold?"
At very least, does she know what the Muffin looks like to others?
For gosh sakes, woman, think of the children!
I looked at her friends, who also were all sporting the Muffin Tops. One woman even made a point of lifting up her coat, so the whole world could get a better view of her Muffin.
I was like, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Anywho, the women left me and everyone else in the store horrified, and stuck with the memories of their Muffins.
This brings me to my point.
Yes, I do have one.
We need to write our favorite fashion designers, and urge them to make pants that cover the Muffin Tops.
I'm not talking about the famed, "Mom" jeans, that stop roughly up under the breasts, but just more material than most low-riders, otherwise known as Muffin-riders, provide.
Who is with me?
Together, I think we can defeat the Muffin Tops - one fashion designer at a time.
York Dude · January 29, 2008 4:47 PM
Me likey! To me it says hey I'm not perfect but I'm not insecure either. That appeals to me.
Gina · December 19, 2007 6:44 AM
I have my own baker's dozen, but I'm not ready to show it to the world. I'm horrified but fascinated by the muffin top phenomenon. Either these women are so clueless that they do not realize how disgusting they look, or they are more confident than the rest of us put together.
Reuben was a painter that did beautiful paintings of generously sized women, hence the term "Reubenesque." Somehow I don't think they'sd look as appealing if they were busting out of their clothes.
Jenni · December 14, 2007 6:00 PM
I've found that flab hanging out bothers some women more than men. A friend of mine has a theory, which he has shared after I mentioned that some people, even thin ones, wear pants that are way too tight or minishirts that are too short.
His theory: Why not let them put themselves out there -- someone might like what they're showing.
My theory: Too tight is never a good fashion choice.
Nicki · December 13, 2007 5:56 PM
Fortunately for me, my rear is much larger than my waist, making it hard to find a pair of pants that would even produce a muffin top like some of those gals in the picture. However, watch out for elastic gym shorts, they can be a huge culprit.
Amanda · December 13, 2007 9:57 AM
Got another name for it: the flab-a-lanche.
sharon · December 11, 2007 6:52 PM
Growing up in the 60's, and living now has kind of made me sad as to how little has changed. Muffin tops is not the problem; women who will wear any and everything to be considered stylish is. I went to a picnic-type event in October and as far as the eye could see, bulbs of female fat hanging out all over the place. Ladies please! Get an Ab-lounger and firm up or cover it up.
rachele · December 10, 2007 11:17 PM
This is so true. My sister and I talk about it all the time. I just recently found out it was called a muffin top. I am not sure how appropriate that is considering that the top of the muffin is the most tasty piece of the muffin. That junk does not look tasty. Btw don't blame the jeans!!! I have muffin top when I try to squezze my butt into a smaller pair of jeans! Unlike Jennifer Love Hewitt I hate gonna lie I am not a size 2.