I'm getting down to the last part of my SutriSystem shipment.
Let's just say I don't have many savory choices left at this point.
It's tempting to not eat the stuff, because I've had all my favorites already.
But like W, I'm staying the course.
I just can't wait until I get another shipment in a few days.
C'mon FedEx, help a sister out!
Hi guys.
I know. It's Tuesday, and this is like the first time I've posted this week.
Don't mind me, I'm slacking off.
I hope to have some new and exciting posts for you soon.
In the meantime, I weighed in this morning.
I gained a half a pound.
There's no peanut butter jelly time this week.
I'm hoping it's just water weight.
Sigh.
This one's for Nancy, a librarian at the newspaper and one of my most faithful readers.
Thanks, Nancy, and good luck to you and everyone else looking for the perfect swimwear.
Here are my tips on it in a previous blog post, Swimsuit shopping or torture? I'll take torture.
Reporters don't get to use certain words, like penis, often.
Call it what you want (the words crushing oppression come to mind), but some words don't get their due in the newspaper.
So, when a reporter gets to use the words sorcerers, black magic and penises in the first paragraph, you can be assured that the gods of journalism have smiled down upon that writer and granted a rare miracle.
A lucky Joe from the Reuters news service got to do just that in this story.
(cue up "miracle music," with harps and opera singers. . .)
Amazing.
Enough is enough.
I'm tired of looking like an old woman.
I'm tired of struggling to get it out of my car.
I'm tired of almost (and sometimes) smacking myself in the face with it when I'm in a confined space.
That's it - I'm ditching this cane.
I burrowed deeper under my covers this morning when I thought about getting on the scale today.
I just wanted to stay in that comfy place where I didn't have to look down at those black digital numbers.
But, Mo, my cat, was walking on my head, and I needed to shower.
Off to the bathroom, and to the scale.
I stepped on the scale and looked down at the readout.
I lost four pounds!
Go Michele, Go Michele!
You guys know what time it is?
It's peanut butter jelly time. It's peanut butter jelly time.
(You have to have read this previous blog post to get that one.)
This dancing cat is about how I feel today.
I rock.
Now that I'm trying to lose my extra chub, it seems that I'm really noticing everyone else's.
From the jiggly belly of a woman who reached up for a box of diet crackers in front of me at the grocery store to the rotund man next to me at the gas pump, I'm noticing more fat folks.
Now, I'm not trying to be judgemental.
Remember, I am still a fat chick.
But it appears that we are all getting . . . rounder.
Any thoughts?
I'm sick.
No, not mentally, though some would argue that point, but physically.
I have strep throat, and a double ear infection.
Yeah!
I feel like dirt, or worse, if you can imagine.
When I'm sick, I like comfort food such as creamy soups, hearty breads and marshmellow-filled hot chocolate.
You know, things to warm my tummy and help me feel better.
But I'm on a diet.
And though the SutriSystem food has been tasty, its no where near comfort food.
This morning was my big weigh in.
After a WHOLE week of eating stuff on my SutriSystem diet, I looked the scale and was like, "Bring on the results!"
I went into the bathroom and looked down at my sworn enemy - the scale.
But I was ready for it, this time. I knew I'd lost something big.
I didn't.
So, I'm doing this new diet, right, and eating a ridiculously low amount of calories each day.
Last week, I was about ready to strangle someone for a cheeseburger.
(Mmmmm. . . tasty, cheesy, Hardee's thick burger. . .yummy.)
Ok, enough day dreaming.
Anywho, something weird has happened.
I think my body has adjusted to our new calorie level
Let's check in with some celebs today, shall we:
* Showing that their lack of parenting skills doesn't just apply to Paris Hilton, the Hiltons' son and Paris' younger brother, Barron Hilton, pleaded guilty to DUI charges.
The kid was not only charged with DUI, but also with underage drinking because he's only 18.
Nice.
Moving on. . .
* I found this posting about five actresses who look like they stink. The website even has a feature so you can vote on the stars you think stink.
Awesome.
Can't focus. . . Need more calories.
Vision fading. . Heartbeat very weak. . .
I can't stop . . . . . . thinking about food.
I'm so hungry!
This morning, one of my co-workers had to keep me from robbing a Pizza Hut.
God bless ya, Jeff.
So, I was all ready to start my diet Monday.
(Meaning, I ate everything that wasn't nailed down over the weekend as kind of a "last really fattening supper" kind of thing.)
Then I looked in the cold box and realized I didn't have anything I needed to really get started.
There was not a leaf of lettuce in the house.
Matter of fact, I didn't have any low-fat anything in my apartment.
That's probably not the best way to start a new diet.
These overcast days really mess with me.
My body just wants to sleep today.
Just when I was starting to get the hang of this morning thing, I got a break at work and was able to sleep a little bit longer this morning.
Not a good idea.
When I woke up after my normal time, I was groggy, and there was a cat standing on my chest with his nose right up to my nose.
That would be my youngest furry child, Mo, who has no idea of the concept of sleep and wanting your personal space during your sleepy time.
Sigh.
So, it's roughly 10 a.m., and I feel like I was hit by a mack truck.
Tell me, dear readers, what do you do on a morning like this?
Me, I'm just trying to make it to lunch so I can go home for a nap.
Do you remember that weird guy that urged the world to "Leave Britney alone!"
Well, I know you guys have been hungry for an update on Chris Crocker's status.
That's right, ya'll, Chris Crocker is in the house. (Yeah!)
Here's a story on him and some video, just in case you forgot how. . . special his is.
Great eye make-up, Chris. You've come a long way from this video.
Just playing. You still suck.
Ask anyone who knows me well, or who has ever been in my bathroom - I have a shower gel problem.
It's OK, because they say the first step to getting help is admitting the problem.
At this point, there is no less than 10 shower gels in my shower area.
They are on the ledges on the corners of the tub.
They crowd the shower caddy that hangs over the shower head.
I've even got them on a small sill near the window.
Yep, I've got a problem.
I'd heard stories about people who work during the day.
These "day-walkers" get up at the crack of dawn, use alarm clocks and, heaven forbid, drink coffee.
As someone who has worked nights for the last seven years or so, these folks and their lives were a mystery to me.
That is, until I became one of them.
(Because I can't go out to cover things like fires, homicides and the like, I'm on desk/web duty until my doctor clears me to go back to my regular work.)
This baby is sooooo cute.
In this video, the little guy goes all out, even falling over with his giggling.
Look at him in his cute, little footed pajamas. . .
Awwwww. . .
There's just something about baby laughter.
