Ah, the DMV. . . or PennDOT, or the DOT, or whatever name the 10th level is going by these days. . . . .
Make no mistake - It is the most evil place on earth, hands down.
Where else can you go for hits on your self-esteem, perils in mind-numbing bearucacy and cuts from all the forms you have to fill out, then no longer need?
I took my trip into the depths this week to renew my driver's license.
What? You didn't hear about this?
OMG!
I've lost six pounds since April.
So basically, I rock.
Now, I can't really tell you my secret, but that's because I don't know what I did to lose it.
Mostly, I stopped drinking ranch dressing by the bottle with one or two buffaloe chicken wings.
I do, however, miss it.
So, today's a good Thursday, marked by weight loss and a cute outfit (on me, people).
I'm getting slim!
This is a good day.
So, the judges on 'America's Got Talent,' got a big surprise recently when a Britney Spears inpersonator came on the scene.
One judge, the British guy, rolled his eyes the whole time.
Another screamed and laughted while the impersonator performed.
The third, the Hoff, just looked a little confused. Ok, he looked a lot confused.
I don't blame them.
This guy is good. Yes, I said this guy. Check him out:
I mean, really good. If it wasn't for his really, really sharp features, he could be Britney.
Hey, Brit, do you need a body double?
I think you may need to hire this guy. You could have him leave your house and let the stalker paps chase him while you go about your merry way.
When you felt like being photographed, which we know you do sometimes, you could go out. If not, send out the decoy and then go live it up.
Just think about it, Brit. It could be a good investment.
The 'Sex and the City' movie has grossed more than $120 million at the box office, and is still going strong.
A saucy movie about the lives of adult women is officially a blockbuster.
For those not familiar with this goddess of a show, it was an HBO show that ran from 1998 to the early 2000s, and can be seen in re-runs on TBS most nights.
I'm so happy for the girls and the movie, which totally rocked, by the way.
If you've seen it, why not treat yourself and go again.
If not, you've got to plan a girls' night out for 'Sex.'
(That sounded so dirty. I love it!)
Hi guys.
We've been testing out some new software for the blog this week, and have had. . . problems.
I hope things will be better next week. I'll be back then with new, sunny happy blog posts.
In the meantime, look through the categories and relive some of the older blog posts, to tide you over until the new ones start next week.
Have a good weekend.
As I've said before, where I'm from, they pick on skinny people.
These starlets take the skinny thing to a whole new level.
I like being volumptous, and they apparently like being thin. However, young girls aren't looking at me as a role model.
They are, however, looking at these stick-thin actresses and others.
So, ladies, please, learn that bread and real butter is your friend.
No one is knocking you for being naturally thin. I'm knocking you for being too thin and looking unhealthy.
We've all seen her before.
She's the . . . older. . .woman at the grocery store in some shorts that have 'juicy' plastered across the butt.
She's the lady in her 40s wearing tattered, ripped jeans that look strangely like the ones you wore in college.
She's that lady showing all her boobs in a top that looks like it belongs to her teenaged granddaughter.
Yes, dear readers, I'm talking about women who do not dress their age.
Some say these folks are trying to stay young and hip, but mostly, they look ridiculous.
Women can be sexy at any age, if they play the part well. That doesn't mean stealing clothes from a younger generation and trying to rock the look.
It doesn't work.
MSN agrees. Here's their take on folks dressing their age, and trends for women older than 30 (that includes me) to avoid.
Any thoughts? Any hot mess stories to share on this topic?
On Saturday, my friend's daughter was in town.
She's six, and the coolest place on the planet to her right now is the swimming pool.
Because I'm into torture that includes sunburn and wedgies, I agreed to go with them to an area pool.
(Cue the screaming women again, or the screams from any woman who has to squeeze herself into a swimsuit then go out in public this summer.)
Anywho, as a chaperone on the great pool adventure, I noticed a lot of reasons to get back on the diet wagon.
Mostly, it was TMI (Too Much Information) on folks I hardly knew. As a trained observer, I saw waaaaaaay too much of everyone's business at the pool.
Here's a post for all those who need a laugh today.
Take a baby, and some sweet baby laughter, and you've got joy. This little guy is just having a ball.
Go 'head, little man, laugh, baby, laugh.
I know, you guys have been chomping at the bit to see this guy come up in the blog again.
Well, I'm here for you, so here's the post on the "Leave Britney Alone," guy.
By the way, she's, I mean, he's, still a hot, ghetto mess.
Hi guys. In case you missed them, I'm posting some older posts this week.
Here's my take on Miley's photos, and her creepy dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.
Enjoy.
Hello, dear readers.
I'm going to be out of town for a few days this week, so I'll be running some of the older blog posts again.
Those who are new to the blog can catch up. Faithful readers (what's wrong with you people?) can laugh again at some of their favorite posts.
Have a good week, and enjoy the blog reruns.
So, let's say you have a daughter, and she gets raped at 16.
Awful, right?
Then, to add to it, she becomes pregnant from the assault. What do you do?
Well, if you're this woman's mother, you force your child to carry the child to term, and then call her a slut for being raped and getting knocked up in the first place.
Good answer, right?
Not so much.
I think we all can agree that our own mothers do things that make us crazy. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this woman's mama IS crazy.
You guys have to read the rest of this column to get exactly what I'm talking about. I'm with Margo and Jason - she crazy.
Thoughts?
There's a new 'Drank' in town.
Yes, I did.
This new "anti-energy" drink is actually called, "Drank."
Like Perez Hilton, I'm assuming they were aiming at the hip hop culture's infamous phrases, "Let's get our drank on, Get your drank on, We got our drank on, etc."
I was just like, wow, when I saw this post about the new drink.
Again, wow.
Any thoughts on this new 'Drank?'
I don't know what some of these are, but health experts are saying we should avoid them.
I'll take their word for it, and pass on to you this list of 12 additives in food we should all avoid.
But not from her husband, Blake, who is in jail.
Our favorite celebrity gossip blogger, Perez Hilton, had this post on Amy Winehouse.
I have to say these are not the most flattering pictures of the troubled siren.
Also, as most people who have had hickies know (I've heard about them. . . ), using a cold spoon, or wearing a turtleneck is usually a good plan.
It's really a shame because Amy really has a great voice. Rehab is not her best or only song.
So sad to see her like this.
She looks BAAAAAAAAD.
I did something unusual this weekend - I washed my own hair.
This may seem strange to some, but the truth is - I rarely wash my own mop top.
The reason: That's what the hair dresser is for. I go every week or so.
So, I washed my own hair this weekend, and left it a little frizzy and wild so it could air dry.
As I was combing through it, I saw what looked like one of my cat's hairs (you'd be amazed at where these things show up. . . )
But it wasn't.
It was my first gray hair/
(Cue the screaming crowd)
