October 2008 Archives

In honor of Halloween, I thought I'd provide you with this scary photo of a 40-something year old who really, really needs yet another fashion intervention.

Can you get your sister, please?

There are a lot of things wrong with Mariah Carey, and her outfit (She couldn't find ANY matching reds?!?!?!). When I saw this on the wire this morning, I was like, "What the. . . "

And, she was taken to her and baby Nick's Halloween bash in a fire truck. Nice.

Let's hope no one was in need of fire assistance during Mariah's little ride.

Ok, maybe I've had a little haterade today, but seriously. Mariah is beautiful and has an exceptional voice.

During the brief period where she dressed like a woman and not a homeless teen from the 80s, she looked very good.

Why did she go back to these kinds of looks? It's sad, because she'd come so far past the butterflies and Daisy Dukes.

I have no choice. I'm declaring Mariah Carey today's hot ghetto mess.

The good news: I've been to the gym this week.

The bad news: I've stood up both my gym buddies this week.

They're not bad gym buddies. I am.

I'd like to explain myself, if you'll listen.

I'm on a new gym schedule.

One of my gym buddies, Jess, told me she used to go to cycling class at 5:45 a.m.

I laughed.

At 5:45 a.m. most mornings, I'm buried under my covers, trying to get those valuable last 15 minutes before I have to bu at 6 a.m. and at the office at 7 a.m.

(Yes, I said 7 a.m., for all those who remembered that until this March, I worked the night shift for the last seven+ years.)

After trying, with little success, to drag my behind to the gym after work, I've seen the light.

Now, I'm insane, too.

This afternoon's time-waster: Shows that have taken it waaaaaaaay too far.

This post from Yahoo! talks about some of your favorite shows that are off course this season.

Enjoy.

How did I not hear about this before?

If you're a state employee in Alabama, you have to pay more for insurance because you're obese. The extra $25-a-month charge also applies to smokers.

In its defense, Alabama has the second highest obesity rate in the country, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Employees will be charged as an incentive to change their eatin' ways, and to lose weight.

Still, why pick one or two conditions, but not for others?

Bloggers have been going crazy over this one, with many saying the new insurance fee, fat Alabama state employees will start to pay in 2011, is discrimination.

It may seem like they're picking on fat people, but I'm sure this also has to do with finances.

In honor of Halloween this week, here's one of the greatest music videos EVER.

That's right. It's "Thriller," from the fallen King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

Amy Winehouse IS going to rehab.

Stop it!

No, seriously, she's going, according to my favorite catty blogger, Perez Hilton.

To read more, click here.

I guess Whitney Houston finally got around to that intervention.

I have to give up one of them. I came to the realization last week that I was probably drinking about 500 calories of the two together each day.

That's a lot of calories, and a little less than half of what I should have total for a day.

At first glance, the easy choice appears to be the soda.

With 150 calories, and 41 grams of sugar in one, 12-oz can of Pepsi, the decision seems like a no-brainer.

But my go-to drink of choice, Vitamin Water, has it's own issues.

Will Ferrell showed up on Thursday night's "Saturday Night Live" in primetime. His role: President Bush.

The sketch-comedy fest is showing special politics shows during the week in addition to the Saturday broadcast.

Here's the video:

I especially love the part where 'President Bush' pulls on 'Sen. John McCain,' who appears to be trying to get away from him.

Tina Fey is still right on as Gov. Sarah Palin. One of my co-workers, who is voting Republican, can't believe how much they look alike.

Palin has a few look alikes, but her and Fey could be twins.

Here's to a good Friday, and wasting time at work. Enjoy.

Prince is 50 this year.

Yes, the man of the high-heeled, "Purple Rain" fame has reached the big 5-0, and has written a book to talk about it.

In this story, an AP writer talks about Prince's timelessness, and his ability to still rock.

In his honor, here's today's viral video of one my favorite Prince songs, "When Doves Cry," from the Purple Rain soundtrack.

I just love his hair and outfit in this video. Totally 80's style, baby!

Junk food companies aren't being honest with us.

They downplay the bad stuff about their products, and lobby against legislation that would limit our reach.

Well, that's what this article says.

Standing in front of the church with flowers in hand, I wasn't thinking about my juicy arms, back fat or other jiggly parts.

I was in awe of the love between one my dearest friends, and the man she chose as a husband.

I thought about us graduating from high school. I thought about Sharon visiting me in college. I thought about when her son, and my God son, T.J. was born.

And I couldn't stop crying.

But these were good tears. They weren't the ones Sharon and I cried together over the ones who weren't worthy of our affection, over opportunities lost or life's other disappointments.

I felt like my heart would burst from the love I was feeling for my friend and her new husband.

Yes, you're reading the right blog. Yes. I'm feeling OK.

Tina Fey was back on her old show, "Saturday Night Live," this weekend and she was joined by the woman she has spoofed on the show before, Republican vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin.

Fey and Palin open the show with this skit:

But the Palin fun didn't stop there. The "Weekend Update" had a rap for Palin and for voters.

I've got an an attitude to cover my fear of looking fat in my dress when I get to the suite where everyone is getting ready.

I know, I'm obsessing. I can't help it.

While we're in the mirror, another bridesmaid, Shirley, tells me how she's not feeling good about showing her back fat when we stand up at the front of the church for the wedding ceremony.

What? Shirley can't be any more than like a size 12.

But she's really nervous about how she will look in her dress, too.

I was hiding under my covers Saturday morning, until my sister, Regina, came to wake me up.

Somehow, I hoped that no one would notice me buried under the blankets, that I could stay there all day and avoid stuffing myself into the bridesmaid's dress.

No such luck.

My family was happy and excited about the wedding of a woman who has been like a sister to me and my sisters, and a daughter to my parents.

I was . . . what's that word. . . Oh yes. . . fat.

Britney Spears' new video is online, and in it, she's naked!

(Yes, I know - shocking, just shocking!)

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

Any thoughts?

I think after all the flack she caught for the infamous 2007 MTV Awards opening act about her weight, she went out of her way to show how slim, tone and greasy she is.

I'm not sure why she's naked, but she really seems to like being that way.

The song itself is classic Britney, and sounds like most of her other dance music. It's not bad, it's not great, it's just Britney.

I'm assuming this is some kind of diet therapy. The woman, who you see crying, is mourning the loss of something.

I'll let you guys watch it, and tell me what you make of it.

I'm not sure what to say.

I had to go through the worst part of wedding preparations Monday.

Even more painful than small talk with people you barely know, getting kissed on the cheek and a little to close to your mouth by some old guy at the wedding and suffering through speech after speech at the reception, I had to go for a dress fitting yesterday.

As I said in my "confessions" post, I think it's an evil, awful thing to make a fat bridesmaid squeeze into a strapless dress. It is really a crime of nature.

So, after using everything but duct tape to put myself in the dress (although I may need it for the wedding), I was told by this nice little Indian woman and wonderful seamstress that the dress would not work.

In the Oct. 20 issue of US Weekly, there's a story about an alleged, "weight controversy" on the popular drama, "Desperate Housewives."

A cute 6-year-old, Madison de la Garza, plays 4-year-old Juanita, daughter to spoiled former model Gabby, who isn't happy her daughter is "the fat kid."

In the tabloid' story about the the controversy, they talked about whether it was a.) right to have a fat kid on the show b.) right to pick on the fat kid on the show and c.) if picking on the show's fat kid was wrong.

Hmmm. . . Is it wrong that the young girl is the pit of fat jokes on a show known for pushing the envelope?

My co-worker, Amy, called me over to her desk to look at this picture.

Amy said, "What could happen during your day to make you do this?"

Indeed.

According to the Associated Press, this undated mug shot released by the Middletown, Ohio, police department shows Michelle Allen, 32. Allen was arrested Sept. 27, 2008.

Police allege she impeded traffic, urinated on a neighbor's porch and chased children while wearing a cow suit, according to a Middletown police report.

Right. . .

So, are police saying it's not OK to dress up in your cow suit, play in traffic, use your neighbor's porth as a toliet and frighten small children when you chase them?

What is this world coming to, when a juicy woman in a cow suit can't go out and live for a day?

We even have the same name.

But for the record, I have not done any of these things. (Or at least no one can prove that I did any of these things.)

So, I'm at the gas station Wednesday after work buying gas.

As you know, gas is more than $3-something a gallon everywhere.

I'm in line behind this woman who apparently has her priorities straight, and I'm annoyed.

She is talking to the guy with her, telling him how the tank is empty.

The woman tells the cashier, "Five in gas and a pack of Newports."

Come again?

The clerk asks her if she's sure, she says, "Yeah," and turns to her friend to tell him how badly she needs the Newports.

So, she put a whopping $5 in the tank, and paid almost $5 for a pack of smokes.

Maybe she doesn't have to worry about driving to work.

Or running errands. . . or driving anywhere at all. . .

Maybe it's just me.

I know, I should have told you guys.

But the love is new, and I don't want to jinx it.

I love. . . my cycling instructor. Her name is Angie.

My other gym buddy, Jess, had told me how special Angie was as a teacher. I didn't know that she rocked until I took her class last week.

She's the only cycling instructor I've never wanted to harm.

She was funny and motivating, and had great songs.

For the first time, I was not wishing for class to be over. I did not pray to God to make time move faster to get me finished with the torture, I mean, fun, of cycling class.

In short, I love her.

Can someone tell me why all the foods that I like to eat are on the "bad, evil foods" lists?

I mean, every time I find something healthy - something that doesn't taste like sandpaper, and that is better than say, french fries covered with cheese, bacon and green onions, dipped in ranch dressing, someone one says it too, is bad for me.

Mmmmm. . . bacon. . . (Sorry, I needed to have a bacon moment.)

In this story, there's more of my favorite "healthy foods" that are no so healthy.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Bagels with cream cheese - 700 calories?

What about reduced-fat cream cheese, or diet bagels?

That's a lot of frigging calories. Seriously.

And granola bars are good. Really good.

They keep me from chewing off my own hand around 4 p.m., when I'm starving and just getting off work and the temptation to go to McDonald's and get many, many cheeseburgers is almost overwhelming, but I resist -- thanks to that granola bar.

Oh well. I knew those foods were too good to be true.

Here's a list of healthy, yes, real healthy,items available at your local grocery store.

Saturday Night Live is at it again.

In the opening of its fourth show this season, the late-night comedy skit show parodied Gov. Sarah Palin again, but also poked fun at Sen. Joe Biden in an opening skit that mocked the recent debate between the two vice presidential candidates.

Taking the moderator's position, one of my favorites, Queen Latifah, joined the parody playing Gwen Ifill.

Here's the skit for your viewing pleasure:

I love Queen Latifah's hair. It's dead on as Ifill's troubled do. And the guy who played Biden rocked.

Any thoughts on the parody?

Imagine a diet where you actually could enjoy food again.

No starving.

No deprivation.

No binging on a bad of Chips A'hoy cookies because you haven't had sugar in weeks.

Maybe that's only me.

Anywho, some new diet trends are emerging that talk about eating better, and not starving, as a weight-loss solution.

In this story, nutrition experts and dieters talk about eating healthy to lose weight, but not waging an all-out war against food.

Amy Winehouse talked about herself recently, saying, "I'm a mess."

I know, it's earth-shattering stuff.

Winehouse, whose husband is in jail because he refused to go to drug rehab and who has been said to have a drug problem herself, has been circling the drain for at least the last year.

The talented British singer who brought U.S. the fab song, "Rehab" has since become a poster child for the need for a person to go to drug and alcohol rehab.

Sad stuff, folks.

Can we get Whitney Houston to do an intervention?