Missing mom

There's no other way to say this.

I miss my mommy.

In the weeks since she died, I've been busy - almost too busy to think about the enormous nature of my loss.

Gentle reminders of her are all around me, whether its in the way my apartment is decorated with family photos (a page right out of my mother's decorating book), or how I deal with my sometimes mischievous cats, which she called her "furry grandchildren."

I miss her so much right now. It has been a difficult few weeks. I really could use her strength right now.

What are you supposed to do without your mother?

I ask myself this question all the time, because the world seems a lot less safe without her around.

I'm struggling with this weight loss thing, too. She was my biggest cheerleader when I had battles with my weight.

When I felt down about it, like I do now, she would help me put in perspective, and encourage me not to give up.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life.

I know it's unhealthy, and I want to lose weight.

I don't know if I can.

I need some help. I'm just not sure where to look now.

I feel like I've tried everything.

Mom, I wish you were here. I need you.